I would start scheduling one on one time with her and then you can differentiate by saying it is “time to play now” vs “its mommy cuddle time now”. She is 4 so keep it simple but definitely set those boundaries. Maybe cuddle time could be right before lunch, or after, after nap time or before etc etc. Just make it convenient for you and let her know that you need time to work and if she is not letting you work you will have to work later and then there will be no time to cuddle.
Boundaries are sooooo important and a great learning experience for her in the future as well. If she sees a mom with great boundaries she will also have them. Ignore the whining and tantrums and don’t give in. Eventually she will learn that moms time is valuable and we cuddle when it is mutually agreed upon. My guess is the lack of boundaries and firmness is making her feel insecure. I swear kids would suck the life out of us if we let them
