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Ariana 09:44 AM 07-26-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I just told my DH yesterday that when I retire I am going to be a Walmart greeter....



.....only I am NOT going to greet anyone...I am going to be shouting things like:

"Hey you! Do you even own a comb??!! Aisle 4! Go get one!! It's 4PM!! Comb your hair!!"

"Don't you know the difference between pajama pants and pants? Come on dude! I'll help you out...if you have neon yellow Sponge Bob's all over them.....they are PAJAMA pants!!!!! This is NOT your bedroom! Go home and get dressed before you come back!!"

"Hey lady! Is that your kid trailing behind you? It is? Well look at HIM not down at your phone!! Hold his hand and stop yelling over your shoulder for him to hurry up! Slow down! Facebook will still be there this afternoon!"


You know...super helpful stuff like that.

Of course the alternative is hiring me to be the person at the door that makes sure you aren't stealing anything.....

...but then I'd probably check people's bags and be like "Um, nope...Cheese crunchies and blue-raspberry Kool-aide are not part of the food pyramid. Go put those things back on the shelf and find some real VEGETABLES!!"
We need to clone you many times over and send you all over the country stat!!
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