Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
I have to say, that while the nickname suggestion may work and be funny, I will never do it and I hope OP doesn't either. Here's why...
I have experiences too close to home concerning child abuse and the children not speaking up about it for one reason and another. Just know that it can seriously harm the child by taking the power out the phrase, SERIOUSLY. How about taking the power out the situation instead?
My own son has tried this whole "stop hurting me!" many times, I get down to his level and say "ok, I'm sorry if that hurt. would you like a hug?" (I say it very point blank and open my arms with warm, no so much with "oh poor baby" feeling...and sometimes he'll take the hug, other times he'll say no), THEN I put him in time out with no interaction (other than putting him back in the spot when he gets up). When time out is done, I'll ask if he'd like a hug (again sometimes yes or no).
He serves his time out, his feelings are validated (fake or not), but he doesn't get away with any of it.
Works here with all the kids...
You are apologizing to him for something that didn't happen and then hugging him. THAT'S what gets them to go beyond you and do it to the next adult. If he says to mommy you hurt me he doesn't get fear as a reaction. He gets special lovins. When he does it to ANYBODY that is in a care position he is putting THEM at risk.
To me, the child's growth and development is way way down in the list in these deals. Think about the poor adult who gets this flung her way. Think about the OP and HER children.
Whatever happens after he's hugged really doesn't matter to me. Once he's been acknowledged with an I'm sorry and a hug the damage is done.