I don't agree that mixed-age care isn't a good fit for your DD, but it sounds like this particular provider isn't a good fit for your DD. Since DD is used to being the "baby" she might have the same problems in a same-age group, because she won't be the "baby" there either.
ITA that you should look for someone who is able and willing to work with your DD without neglecting the other children.
And you're right that quality child care is expensive. On average it costs as much to get a child from infancy to school as it does to get a student through college, but there's MUCH less financial aid available for the early years than there is for college years. Which makes NO sense because parents of young children are generally young and starting out in their careers while parents of college students are usually older, established in their careers, and more financially stable. I don't know the answer, but I do feel for parents of young children. We were in college when our oldest children were in child care, and the price difference of just .50/hour meant we couldn't afford our first choice provider. (Yes, this is a soap box topic for me.)
