Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
As most of you already know I went through a miscarriage last week. On Saturday December 8th I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage after I went to the ER for bleeding. I was 8.5 weeks pregnant when I found out that the baby had passed away at 6.5 weeks. Both my husband and I took the loss really hard. We had been trying to unsuccessfully conceive for 2 years prior. We were so beyond thrilled and excited when we found out that we had FINALLY conceived so you can only imagine the heartbreak when we found out we lost the baby.
so sorry. We tried over two years before it finally happened, I can only imagine how horrid it would be to have lost the baby after all that. You are in my prayers.
Originally Posted by :
Since we had found out over the weekend I decided I would try to open the daycare back up the following Monday. However, I found Monday to be really hard for me, especially being around the babies and I chose to close for Tuesday and Wednesday so I could have some time to emotionally heal. On Wednesday I had a doctor’s appointment for an ultrasound to find out whether I had passed the baby or not. I had not passed the baby. I was given a drug to try to induce a natural miscarriage at home and was told to come back in the next day so we could determine if everything had passed. If I didn’t pass everything I would have been scheduled in for a D & C on Thursday. My doctor told me to take the rest of the week off of work so I could deal with everything. So I closed for Thursday and Friday as well.
I ran into two separate issues with two of my daycare families during this time...
1. On Wednesday I texted all families and informed them of what was going on and that I would be closed for the rest of the week. One dcm that I was having previous problems with (see What is wrong with families!!??) responded with we don’t have to pay you for these days, right? I took immediate offense to this as dcm didn’t so much as wish me well, share her condolences or show any form of compassion prior to this response.
I have had the following issues with dcm:
1. Expecting me to hand feed dcb 3 bottled during the 9 hours that he would be in my care. (Dcb is 13 months old) This was taking me upwards of 1.5 hours through out the day because he was so slow to drink his bottles.
2. Dcm comes in one morning and informs me that someone had grabbed dcb the day before as there was a hand mark on his arm. I immediately check dcb’s arm which had a quarter size rash looking area (similar to rub burn). Dcb is also not walking at this time and doesn’t leave my sight.
3. Dcm come in one morning and informs me that dcb has diarrhea but it’s because he had chocolate cake the night before so he doesn’t have to be excluded.
4. Dcm comes in one morning and informs me that dcb has diarrhea but it’s because he drank too much milk over the weekend so he doesn’t have to be excluded.
5. Dcm comes in one morning and informs me that dcb has goopy eyes but her doctor told her it’s just his eyes draining from a cold so he doesn’t have to be excluded. His eyes were COVERED in goop. I told dcm that I would need a doctor’s note with diagnosis before dcb could return to care. Three times she told me that he didn’t need a doctors note because she had already taken him to the doctor and his eyes are nothing to worry about. Finally she agreed to take him. The following day dcm texts me and says dcb will not be attending because he was coughing all night but his eyes are fine. I told dcm to please bring the doctor’s note on Monday when she returned next. That Monday (which was the last day I was open prior to taking time off for the miscarriage) dcm walks in and practically throws dcb at me and says she is late for work and here is the doctor’s note and runs out the door. I get dcb undressed and then open the note to see that all it stated was “dcb can return to daycare” NO DIAGNOSIS!! I told dcm in the future I would need diagnosis and treatment plan on all doctor’s notes but because dcb’s eyes were now clear I would let it go this time. By Tuesday night both of my eyes were infected...coincidence?
Would you have termed dcm after her rude response to me needing to take time off for medical reasons? I knew questions about payment would come up eventually I just didn’t find it appropriate to ask in that moment and not even share condolences or wish me well?
well you can't make people care about you or your life. People usually are wrapped up in their own life to give a care for anyone else. While that speaks volumes of her character that alone isn't grounds to terminate but all the very disrespectful stuff you mentioned certainly is. I find it of ut most importance that my handbook cover all possible scenarios. That's why it is a BOOK! Everything is in there literally. I talked in length on a forum like this to get an idea of what I could expect from clients. I tend to trust others, but not in bussines. I cover my 6! Go over your policies with a fine tooth comb and make adjustments, if needed. I would out right tell this dcm how you feel. Put it in a letter and print it, have her sign the copy you keep on file (I keep everything on file, signed with proof she received it. You can post it here for help and suggestions, I would.
Originally Posted by :
2. Second dcf sends me an email on Friday and informs me that dcm will be picking up dcb(age 5) at 1:00pm on Monday and dropping him off at 2:15pm because he has a doctor’s appointment. I emailed dcm back on Saturday (which I rarely will do when I am off) and informed her that I felt it was important to me that I try not to disrupt my schedule as much as possible next week with everything I had just been through and as per contract dcb could be picked up at the latest of 12:30pm and dropped off at the earliest of 2:30pm. Dcm didn’t respond. Now this morning dcd called and left me a voicemail to call him. I have in my contract that I will not take calls, texts, emails over my time off, the only reason that I responded was because I had to take unexpected time off last week and dcm said that she was going to give me that information but then I closed. I feel that I have already gave dcf my response to their question and there is nothing more to discuss. How would you handle this situation?
go ahead and let dad call you. State in a firm and flat tone 'As stated in my handbook pickups and drop offs for appointments will be before x and after y. If you can't respect my policies feel free to find care somewhere else.' If they try to drag it on let them know the conversation is over and you're hanging up now. Click!