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Heidi 03:43 PM 03-02-2012
I am trying to learn to ask myself in these situations, what is the payoff for the child for acting like this? Then, I remove the payoff.

It sounds like the payoff is attention. Ignore ignore ignore! If she comes up to you still crying, say nothing...just take her back. 100 times if you need to. She gets one explanation the FIRST time, and then no words.

WHen she comes back not crying, act like nothing happens and give her a friendly welcome back!