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Blackcat31 06:54 AM 05-08-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I don't know what it is with posters lately but for the past month or so, I've noticed that either there is less and less traffic or people just go past my posts.

I thought I had some friends on here and could ask for advice but lately, I notice that either people don't respond or and the ones that do usually don't "get" what I'm even seeking advice for.

I put a lot of thought into my posts and they are real life things that have come up. I come to the board for help and most of the time I get more attitude than I do help.

Is it really that hard to be nice and offer advice or ask questions before coming up with an answer that isn't relevant?!
I sat on this for a while as I didn't want to post based on my immediate reaction but I have to say that now that I go back and actually do a bit of back reading, I am kind of offended by this whole post.

I tend to stay away from commenting when someone is simply venting as the venting posts by members simply seem to be a way to let off steam and require no advice or ideas to be added. However, when I answer your posts looking for advice I am either not "getting it" as you put it or not always responded back to or heck, even thanked for my attempted efforts to offer advice/support.

I am NOT saying that this is ALWAYS the case (for me) but to many members in general. I dont always see you going back and either trying to explain or further expand on what you mean so others CAN "get it" or thanking members for trying to help and offer advice. I guess I just feel like by saying that posters here aren't "getting it" is kind of insulting. I mean we all come from different walks of life and run vastly different programs and businesses so if the general population to which you are posting to isn't "getting it", it may have more to do with how "it" is being worded or presented....kwim?

I also feel that as members of this forum, we have an obligation to thank or atleast acknowledge people for trying to be helpful and supportive in offering advice....even when the advice isn't what we want to do. After all the advice given here is free so a little gratefulness goes a long ways.

I also went back and read all your threads and I don't see where no one is responding to you. Most of your threads have replies/comments in the double digits with the exception of a few venting or simple statement threads where there were only 5 or 6 responses, so I guess I am not seeing how you are feeling like no one is responding to you. As a matter of fact I did notice that the one person who almost always responds to you is someone you kind of went off on as she was apparently not "getting it" which I think is kind of a not so nice thing to do since she was only trying to help you out.

I also want to point out that you average 4.5 posts per day. We have far more posts/threads than that made everyday here and there is no way that you could possibly respond or offer advice to others with only having an average of 4.5 posts per day so this feeling of not being responded to goes both ways. Are you responding to others and offering advice to them on a regular basis? I don't mean posting how you do things or simply commenting but actually offering them advice or support for their situation? I mean, you kind of can't complain about people not supporting/advising you if you arent supporting/advising them.

Anyways, I am NOT trying to offend you or start a debate or argument but what I am trying to say to you and others who feel similar is that there are 100's of different personalities and styles on this forum and if I feel like people aren't listening or supporting me, I look at what I can do differently or what I am be doing wrong. I can't change others but I can definitely change myself.

If I am looking for advice here, than I need to give it. If I am looking for support, I better be willing to be supportive and if I am looking for friendship then I have to be friendly.....and that I DO get and that is how I personally see it.

Kind of like the saying "you get out of life what you put into it."