Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Of course. 
I looked that the state regulations for licensing. One of the regulations says:
"Acts prohibited: ... (2) subjecting children to punishment of a psychological nature, such as humiliation,
making derogatory or sarcastic remarks about them or their families, or using harsh
or profane language, or making actual or implied threats of physical punishment;"
Her comment definitely falls in this category, IMO. I had to sit down afterwards with my son, hold him, and tell him to never, ever, EVER believe anyone that tells you that you're mean. He has been coming home telling me that other kids there are "bad" and "mean" and that he's "bad" and "mean." He's 5 and has never said those things before being in her care. Every time I explain that they are not "bad" or "mean" they just don't do the right thing sometimes. There is never any reason to beat a child down and ruin their self-esteem. It's wrong and I consider it emotional abuse.
My other complaint is that she keeps children in time-out for too long. One time, my son had to stay in time out until we got there to pick him up from the time that she called us... it was a minimum of 20 minutes, maybe closer to 30, that he was in time out. She also told me herself that she typically does one minute per year of age... unless they do something really bad and then they stay there longer. The same regulations that I quoted above also says: (10) uses "time-out" periods only as necessary to enable the child to gain control of
himself or herself. Time-out periods do not exceed five minutes. No more than one minute per year of age...
As to why she doesn't like me... I imagine it's because I asked her to alter her discipline for my son. He does not respond well to time out and never has. It just doesn't work for him. She wouldn't even consider my other suggestions that work better for him (redirection... only staying in time out until he calms down and is ready to apologize, etc). When we left her care she said, "I hope the next daycare he's at doesn't discipline him like you want." She also told me in the same conversation (with my son right there... I had to cover his ears while she was saying it because she shouldn't have said it in front of him) "I wish I could tell you that he's a sweet boy, but he's not!"
Did you talk to her during the interview process to ask about her discipline policy?
Her saying that if she'd have known your child has SPD she wouldn't have taken him on says to me you should have told her. IMO it's very unfair and bad parenting to not disclose behavioural issues especially since you were getting him diagnosed/help. Just because she kept your son on during the trial period does not absolve you of wrong doing.
I have an 8 year old with SPD, undiagnosed until last year, yet I still conferenced with teachers about it before then because it is not something everyone is able to deal with/handle.
Also, as a parent of a child with SPD I see many other parents in clear denial about how hard the child's behaviour is on others around them: teachers, family, siblings, school mates, and how much they want others to cater to their child's behaviours.
Hopefully you learned from this to 1) Be upfront about your child's needs and 2) Read the all the policys and/or ask about them.
I have no comments about the DCP's behaviour. It's really best you left to get your child care that suits his needs.