Yep, lots of terrific advice and ideas. Just wanted to add oh boy, she sounds like fun.
Snooping into locked closets beats all IMO.
It's definitely up to you to confront her and speak up loud and clear now, put a stop to it. I know I never handled confrontation very well and would shake in my boots just thinking about it. BUT you need to reclaim your business and privacy(of your home, family and dcfs as well!) ASAP. If it's difficult for you to immediately change things from what she's been used to up till now, just tell her you've not been handling this the best up until now BUT you've been giving her actions a lot of thought and THIS is going to be how it's done from now on. Then threaten her with terming if she oversteps those boundaries that you mark off for her. It sounds more like spying and snooping, just waiting to find out something negative about you. Please do NOT be afraid of calling her on it because you will end up being miserable and not respect yourself in the end if you let this go. You can be nice as well as professional. What she's doing is oh so wrong.
