Originally Posted by Tasha:
This probably should be in the venting thread, but I guess it's more of a lament than a vent (hopefully). Here's what happened - sorry it's long and convoluted: I have had a nice family with 2 kids for more almost 3 years. Several months ago DCD got sick (with a serious but recoverable illness) and his treatment plan called for him being out of work for several months. DCM needed to work but they still needed childcare, and she came to me in a panic about money because of DCD's loss of income (his job would wait for him, but not with pay). Because they were such great parents and because of my love for their children, I cut their rate by half until DCD went back to work (estimated at 6 months). I had a waiting list but I figured it was the right thing to do because I sure would want someone to help me out if by awful chance I found myself in that situation. So I give her the discount and DCM was ecstatic, hugs all around, much gratitude, and I felt very happy about doing this for her.
So DCD recovers and goes back to work last week (and it did turn out to be 6 months). Last night DCM picks up and all is well, until last night I get an email from her. It opens with some minor problem with one of her kids, and then this:
''Just wanted you to know that my mom has decided to leave her job and will watch the kids. So this is our 3 weeks notice, and I'd like to thank you for being such a wonderful baby-sitter. You were a lifesaver! Love, DCM."
Ugh. I felt (and still feel) sick about this. I feel taken advantage of even though I willingly gave the discount. But she didn't even have the guts to tell me in person, and they were the last pickup. We had time to talk. I just feel so taken advantage of, because I think of all the times I overlooked the late pickups because of DCD's illness. We even took them over dinners over the last few months because DCM was so stressed and harried.
This is all my fault, I know this. But I feel really bad and sad. If you made it all the way through, thanks for reading.
I would feel bad and sad too. That was rotten not even to tell you in person. Wow.
I guess there is not a lot you can do about it though.
I suppose you could look at it like you were giving to charity but a real live charity and give yourself some credit for doing the right thing.
If it continues to eat at you while they are with you I think you are fully justified in saying something to her, in person, like "I sure wish you would have told me the news that you were leaving in person. That hurt my feelings a bit learning it by email." Personally I think people should know when they hurt your feelings. Then if she hems and haws and tries to trivialize it, I'd say "Well it hurt anyway and I just wanted you to know that." She owes you an apology. If you don't get one then at least you made your feelings known.
Laurel