Originally Posted by nannyde:
I have had many situations where parents have had life changes that would substantially lower my hourly rate if I "worked" with them to accommodate. I have had some who were upset when I said I wouldn't do the care because they believed that I would and should accommodate so that I could still have the kid.
Often parents believe that you are caring for the kid first and foremost because you love them and that you should accept their situation because of that love. It's uncomfortable and unsettling when the answer is... I care for your kid but I will have the same care and love for the kid that takes your kids slot.
When we say no because we want the money they feel hurt.
It shouldn't be that way but it is. Offering discounts or working cheap for the prospect of future money is never a good idea. If you want to do it then do it for you not the family. If you want to do community service and you pick a family that you will volunteer or work really cheaply for then do it for yourself and don't look back. Doing it for them is only in YOUR mind. Most parents receiving free only value it while they are getting it and deep down inside I think most feel the free is deserved. They often look at us as being perfectly able to give the free and because we can we should.
This family is a perfect example of this. They received a HUGE gift and they don't feel a second of obligation. As soon as the free was up they booked. They leave now with free words: thank you for the free.
I also don't like giving any thing for free, because they won't want the service once it's not free/not reduced. I think as we are our businesses, it takes a toll on YOU. I.e. you're ok when no one else is around does HURT. When I have all older children, I do projects with supplies. I don't want to say what the supplies are as I don't want to out myself is anyone in my area reads. Once they were paid for, I could reuse them. One year, I decided not to charge a fee for these supplies. So many got broken or "lost" (parent kept it). I'll never forget my father in-law gave this coin to a waitress we had. It was part gold. It was worth about 50 dollars. (It was a big dinner). The waitress said to him "I don't want this foreign money you gave me". Not knowing what it was. He was so turned off he gave her a 20 dollar bill and she was happy with it. My point is "value" is often perceived in terms of money.
