Thread: Lingering DCD
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missnikki 06:37 AM 02-04-2011
Nan, I don't always agree with you but you are absolutely correct about this. I work with Kindergarten kids, and the first week of school morning drop off is crazy, for this very reason. Only these kids are here as a legal requirement, and some parents have sheltered them to lead the household for the child's entire life only to unravel at that very moment.
I've done similar, I give them one goodbye of their choice at the door- blow a kiss, a hug, a special whatever, and once they come in they do it, and leave. I call it "Cutting bait". I put my hand on the child's shoulder, turn them around, and walk them into the room and introduce them to the other kids. I comepletely ignore the parent at that point. When the parent insists on lingering, I look back at them and tell them "We're good, see you later!" and block the visual path between parent and kid. The kicker is this: if the child is crying or trying to get to the lingering parent, I ruin the special bonding by talking to the parent about it as the child has their breakdown. I tell them that I will happily email a picture of the kid in a few minutes to set them at ease, but if they don't leave, they will have to take the child home and try again tomorrow. Since we've already discussed it beforehand, they know I'm serious and am not going to put up with it. I've never had the same parent pull it again after I threatened to turn them away. In fact, once they leave, and they get that picture sent to them of the kid smiling or playing, they are ALL ABOUT dropping off quickly. I have had more parents over the years tell me once their child is grown into the upper grades, that letting them go to me that first day was the hardest thing to do but they felt so at ease with leaving their precious snowflake once they got that picture. It seems to work.
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