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Old 11-18-2011, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
I have a version of this kid too. He's the one who I posted about who wouldn't use the toilet or, and refused drinks to avoid having to use the toilet. We have gotten past the bathroom thing, thank God.

But he's also a Thomas buff, his backpack is filled with Thomas train toys and books that he just carries with him. We have a wooden toy train that he must play with every day, fixates on it, and won't allow anyone else to touch it without a tantrum. But the train thing is mild...I deal with it like I deal with any fixations or tantrums.

He was non-verbal until about 9 months ago (he'll be 4 next month). He had remained in the Two-year-old room because he was not potty trained, non-verbal and socially delayed. Very random, choppy language...expressed wants and needs by pointing, noises or simply dragging the person over to it...couldn't play cooperatively at all. (Of course mom insisted he talked, was potty-trained, etc at home)

Just recently moved to me, and had what I can only describe as a language explosion. Suddenly began asking questions, saying what he wanted/needed, making comments, even tattling . He still kind of sounds like the computer in that movie Blank Check, and he has a habit of repeating himself, but I'm elated.

Our first success was the sentence "I need help". Instead of struggling/tantruming or thrusting his coat/shoe/whatever at someone...we insisted that he say the words "I need help" and would not provide help until he said it. Progressed to "I want water"..."I need to potty"..."I want to play with the train".

A lot has gone on in this boys life in the past couple months, including his parents separating and his mom taking on a night job , and now I'm seeing behavior issues that weren't present before.

But I can understand the other poster's frustration...
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