Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree with e.j. and would ask to speak with the teacher's directly. Many times a 3 yr olds version of what happened is no where near the truth. I am not saying your DD is lying but she may be misunderstanding or interpreting differently.
I would never deny a child snack or lunch but there have been times in which we've had sugary food rewards that not all kids earned so not all kids got. Many times if they haven't eaten lunch I will give them crackers to eat first BEFORE allowing the sugary treat so that they have something good for them in their belly first. kwim?
As for the potty accidents, I've been in this business for 25+ yrs now and I have yet to meet a child that performs at home the same way they do here. The different environments could be a valid explanation for that.
All in all though I would absolutely schedule a time to talk with the teachers and get their take on what's happening.
If, however you feel uncomfortable about anything...remove your child. Instincts are usually there for those times in which our logic or our brains are saying something different.
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I sent my own child to a structured program/preschool at 3 and at that time I still took school aged kids. My kid needed what I was unable to provide. I think it's common for providers to do this.
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I was not referring to open to close hours. I was referring to your typical pick up time. Do you typically pick up at 3:15? If so the parent may have been given the number of kids that typically are there for afternoon snack. That is what the director would have gone by, average meal counts for pm snack on her admin page, when asked for a number by a parent intending to bring cupcakes to any classroom. 
Also I would have a high index of suspicion that the person who told her the cupcakes were for boys only was the birthday boy or his buddy. Might even have been referring to a specific color of cupcake if, say, she wanted blue instead of green then refused the green one. Maybe the parent sent blue bugs for boys, green butterflys for girls? Sounds pretty familiar for the 3-4 year old classroom.
all of this.
What other concerns have you had? you said this isn't the first time?