Thread: Venting Thread
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nannyde 12:03 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by morgan24:
Nothing I can do about this so I'll just vent about it and get it off my chest. I have a dcb who is going to be 3 in Feb. He is obsessed with Thomas the train, he carries a Thomas the train book as a security book. He talks about trains all the time, points outside and sees trains. It's so annoying because it's constant. He also twists his hair, he just got his head shaved and now he rubs it. He cries over stupid stuff, like his sock is crooked. His twin is the complete opposite, she is out going and plays with every one. Not her brother, he sits there talking about trains or rubbing his head. He's also not potty trained and cries if you talk about it and he repeats everything you say to him, like if he needs his diaper changed and I tell him lets go to the bathroom, he says lets go to the bathroom and it goes on and on. He is my least favorite to deal with.
I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm
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