well it depends. I don't really feel I know enough to say. Do you feel she has been labeled as trouble in her current daycare? Has she formed a bond with any of her teachers? Is there a daycare that you feel she would do better in. Is there pehaps a developmental childcare in your area that would work with her?
I understand what you meant about the teacher not getting kicked if she had not picked her up but... She should listen to the teacher.
I say that so kindly, not to hurt your feelings in any way.
When you say she was pushing buttons i assume you mean the teachers buttons??
That may lead me to think that she might need another teacher because this one is may be getting too emotional and is not dealing with her as well as she could be.
I as so sorry that you and your daughter are going thru so much.
I know ADHD can be difficult.
If I were you I would consult with Nanny de about your daughter. She may be able to give you some excellent advice about your daughters childcare and dealing with her emotional and behaviorial issues.