Originally Posted by Leigh:
I'm guessing that the 15-20 minutes of hanging out is the problem. Believe me, as a parent, I GET IT! It's so hard not to want to comfort your child when they don't want to separate from you! It breaks my heart to do it. However, as a provider, I can tell you that ALL of the kids stop acting sad when their parents leave-some the moment the door closes behind their parent, some wait until the car is out of the driveway, but it's QUICK that they get over it, and they move on to having fun right away. It's nearly always manipulation-they're trying to get you to stay with them, and that is perfectly normal. Drop offs should be as quick as possible. I'm talking 60 seconds MAX. The longer you stay to reassure your child, they more you reinforce that Mom leaving is scary or sad or not the right thing. Kids need to see that their parents are confident in their decisions.
You can actually help your child by making drop off fast. Talk about it on the way there, on the walk up to the door. Mom's going to take you to Miss A, and then she's going to go to work for a bit. When I'm done, I'll come right back to pick you up, just like I always do!
I think the rudeness is MUCH less about her not liking you, and probably more of her being afraid to tell you that it's time for you to leave and let her do her job of caring for your child while your child is with her. She's probably afraid of seeming rude by saying that it's time for you to leave, but I would place a BIG bet on that being the reason that you're feeling a coldness from her.
Think you hit the nail on the head. Protracted drop offs are hard on everyone.
Plus, caregivers are NOT going to be mean to a kiddo just because they may have an issue with the parent. This drives me a little nuts. Most of us get into this profession because we love kiddos and would never, ever think of treating a child in a harmful way.