Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nan
It's easy to explain. The issue is the transition away from the parent who the child controls to the adult the child doesn't control. It's important that the relationship where the control is imbalanced be dealt with by those who are participating in it.
I tell the Mom that the child needs to separate from her and it needs to be done privately. Take as long as you need. If it takes an hour and you need to inlist the help of a priest.... then do what you have to do. The minute you knock on my door you are sending me the message that you are completely assured that the child is ready to transition away from you. Don't knock until you feel comfortable... no matter how long that takes.
Once I open the door I'm assured that your child is ready. I take his hand and bring him thru the doorway and say "be good at work mommy... cya later" and shut the door.
It isn't cruel. It's promoting family bonding and the family dealing with their family issues privately. I shouldn't be involved in any way with their family challenges. I'm here to take care of a child who is ready to join group care without the influence of the power they have with their parents.
I would never allow a parent to hang out for fifteen minutes upon arrival. I don't host parents providing care for their children on site. If they have fifteen extra minutes they need to care for the child either outside or in their own home.
If the kid gets froggy and physcial with my outdoor area then I switch it to "do the departures in the care"... do not bring your child out of the car until you are completely done with your good byes. Again... bring them to the door and knock. Your knock confirms they are ready to enter the day care on their own. I don't allow them to "bring" anything into the day care with the child. Just the child.
It works great. The parent gets bored with it really quickly.
You hit it right on the head....."The issue is leaving the parent that the child controls to the person the child doesnt control." Man, I wish I could explain it like that to the parent of the little girl I watch who throws a complete fit when her mom drops her off now!!!
