Originally Posted by Jdy2222:
It really sounds like you're doing everything you can, the little guy needs to find ways to react differently than he does to situations and conflicts ... that takes a long time (years). My mom taught my son to take deep focused breaths, maybe that would help - took the focus off the situation, allowed him to back down a little. Of course, once my son found out the very loud breaths were kind of annoying he made a point of doing them every time he was mad, and right in my face. Ugh.
My suggestion would be to hug him, touch him, compliment him, and love on him as much as possible. He needs it, he's struggling more than the adults trying to work with him (not that he'll admit that any time soon!), and all the consequences, even though he's earned them and they shouldn't change, don't feel good when really he's just being the best self he's capable of right now.
I have a son like this, he's 15 now, most of the time he's great but it's a work in progress for/with him. It's exhausting and hurtful and hard for both of us, but he did tell me he's glad I stuck to the house rules and didn't let him off easy as he's grown up.
Thank you so much! Amazing advice and we sincerely appreciate it!