In the early childhood education training I just received, they said "time out" can actually be harmful to the child. It makes them feel ashamed and embarrassed to be singled out in front of the other children. I noticed that with my 3-year-old daughter as well. She is also highly emotional on the temperament scale, and she had a lot of similar issues while younger. She just needed a lot more love and attention than other kids who were lower on the emotional scale. They recommended observing for several days to a week, to figure out each child's triggers. Then, intercede before it escalates to that point. A lot of it could just be frustration from trying to communicate his feelings. I taught my daughter some basic sign language (please, mine, thank you, food, drink) and it really helped.

They also recommended focusing on the child who was hurt first instead of reprimanding the child who initiated the harmful contact. If you focus on the child hurt, the other child will see the effect of his actions more clearly. Ask the hurt child how they feel and what would make them feel better. Then, ask the room at large if they can remember the rules on hitting, etc., and see if he responds. I tried it with a 15-month-old, and it actually worked! (She was not able to answer the rule of course, but she looked concerned and patted the other child on the shoulder.) I also did it with my daughter and her 3-year-old friends when they fought over the dollhouse, etc.

Hang in there!

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