Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I feel like there are pieces of information that aren't being provided by the OP and it makes it difficult to offer an opinion without the missing pieces.
So the child is 5 years old and was being "naughty". OK, what happened to result in the TO? I know that if it were my child (and believe me, on many occasions during my daughter's younger years, it WAS her), I would ask what my child did specifically. My daughter has had many TO's during outside play and I never took issue with it because I was always told specifically what had happened. If you weren't told, then I would suggest that you ask.
As a provider, I've had kids land in a TO during outside time and there doesn't seem to be a more effective time for a TO than when a kid is outside, sitting with you, watching the others play and just itching to go and join them. I take that time to explain to the child why they are in TO and what I expect from them from now on. I wouldn't feel comfortable having a kid be indoors for a TO since I work alone and even if I didn't work alone, I still don't like the idea of keeping a child inside for a TO. They still need fresh air and large motor activity. Also, I keep my TO's to roughly one minute/age in years so it's not like the child won't be able to play once the TO is over.
Also, OP, does your child have a history with getting a lot of TO's? Do you get a daily sheet, and if so, how are the behavior problems addressed on the sheet? My daughter's daycare providers were quite good at listing her TO's and being direct with me about it. How is your relationship with the daycare teachers? The reason that I ask is because I've seen parents totally tune out anything that they are told about their child's behavior and that makes the daycare teachers feel like what they are saying is falling on deaf ears. I apologize if I'm off base with my response; I can only speak from experience as a mom of a child who practically lived in TO for a few months and as a provider who makes it a point to keep an open and honest line of communication with the parents of her daycare kids. As the mom, I had to learn to listen to what the teachers were telling me and recognize that on many occasions, she had absolutely earned her TO's. As a provider, I've learned to be the bearer of bad news without attaching a "bad kid" vibe to report I was giving. I learned to stick to the telling the parent what happened and how I responded as well as how the child responded. I also make sure that I find the positive in each and every day with a child no matter how rough the day might have been. No matter how rough a child's day has been, I tell them that "I love you on the days when you have trouble with your listening ears and make sad choices. I love you on the days when you make good choices and teach your friends how to make good choices too. I love you no matter what, and nothing will ever change that."
It's hard to hear that your child has been put in a TO because as parents, we want to believe that our kids don't behave in ways that will result in TO's. My daughter got 17 TO's in just one day when she was about 3 1/2. I'm just glad that she had a daycare teacher that wrote about them on her daily sheet. It helped me to understand what was happening. I hope that you can talk to your child's daycare and figure this all out. If you find that all that you ever hear about is how naughty your son was, then I would strongly recommend addressing it with the teachers. If that's the case, then it may be time to switch daycares.
Good luck!
Update: I'm the OP. I wasn't given any other info from the teacher. Director apologized and things were worked out. I trust the teachers and directors and there are no hard feelings all around. We all get along well. My only concern at post was whether the teacher could deny outside time as punishment. His teachers say he is well behaved. He doesn't get a lot of TOs. They have never been that vague as they were that one day - I get details otherwise of his day, things he worked on, problems, etc. verbally.