{DCM},

I'd like for you and I to set up a meeting and talk. I know that's next to impossible for both of us right now, as much as we have going on, though.
Let me start by saying I LOVE {DCB}! I think he is a sweet, smart little boy! But, I have to also say that he is very high maintenance! Which is not "bad." I think all my kids were a little high maintenance, too! However, It is hard with as many other kids as I have! Things started getting difficult after your surgery and I thought maybe he had gotten used to being held all the time and it would pass! So, for the past 4+ months I've been holding out, thinking it will get better!

I've dealt with criers before and I've done all the things I can think of to make things better for him! I know bonding with the kids is key and I feel like that's something I do pretty well with. I hold and cuddle them all as much as possible! But, for some reason, DCB still cries the majority of the day until after his afternoon nap. There are points in time when he is happy and plays well, but it is usually short lived. It feels like about 75% of the day he is screaming at me if I don't hold him! And, I used to use the carrier and wrap a lot, but he's just so heavy now! It's bad enough that if he is not crying the other kids say, "Look! DCB's happy!!" I think he would be okay if I was able to hip him most of the day and pay most of my attention to him. However, I just CAN'T! And, he breaks my heart when he cries like that! For the past couple of weeks I've been just letting him cry some (which is NOT something I like to do or really believe in at this age!!) To see if he will get used to not being held and calm down. It just seems like nothing works!! And, as you can imagine, my nerves stay shot most of the time, which is one thing. But it is having a negative impact on how I care for the other children. I am not able to give them the attention they equally deserve or fully carry out my lesson plans.

I don't want you to feel like I am complaining to you or telling you I think you are doing something wrong!! Every child is different and with him being so young, he can't express himself! He may be the type of child who can't tolerate a lot of stimulation, his belly may be hurting, he may be sleepy, or any number of things!! We have no way of telling! So, what I want to do is try to work together and figure it out!! I told you Friday that I was going to try his morning naps in another room. This morning he has already been fussy. I put him down in the other room, but he still just slept 30 minutes and is cranky again! He ate breakfast and the minute I sat him down to clean another child up, he started screaming at me. So, all I can really do, aside from all of us listening to him scream, is just sit and hold him! For example: I held him, he decided he was ready to play and I realized I had to go to the kitchen to get a trash bag. Literally 30 seconds! He started screaming the second I left the room!!

This week I am going to try to get him on a really good schedule and do what I can to make sure he gets a good am nap to see if that helps! I am open to any suggestions you have, too!! I haven't said much to you because like I said, I kept thinking it had to get better soon!! I've just never dealt with this!

I want you to know that I DO NOT want to drop DCB! The thought of him going somewhere else just kills me! But, you have to understand the position I'm in, too. And usually by this point, most babies have adapted, but he just hasn't. So, if we cant' figure out what to do for him, I may have no other choice. As much as I hate to say it, he may be the type of child who just needs one on one care.

So, like I said, I'll try anything to make it work! I'm just running low on ideas here besides what I already mentioned trying. I hope we can work together to figure this out and find out what will work best to make your precious baby boy happy! No one knows him like you do!

If you want to set up a time to meet and talk, all my evenings are booked until this weekend, but I'd be happy to whenever we can sync our schedules! Or e-mail is great, too!

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