Originally Posted by Heidi:
Toddlers sometimes bite. It's ugly and should be dealt with, and I KNOW there are those here that don't agree, but biting and hitting are common behaviors. Undesirable, but it happens.
I personally would not terminate a toddler for biting, although I would terminate an older child for it. I learned after the last time I had rough/violent kids that I was way to willing to try to figure it out, to no avail.
That said, I would sit down with the victim's family first. You are in the process of making a decision, but will they stay if you do? Can you afford, or are you willing, to loose BOTH children? The "biter" may move on to another child if her favorite teething toy is gone, but she may also never bite again. Sometimes, the "victim" provokes, sometimes no.
My 25 month old here bit several times over 3 months. He only bit one child...a boy almost a year older and considerably stronger/bigger. The boy bitten was a body-checker. Push, push, BITE. At 20 months, biter was only trying to defend himself, more or less. Obviously, not a good choice, but we worked through it, and he stopped. He hasn't bitten anyone in months (knock on wood...I said it out loud now).
I DO agree that biting is sometimes a common behavior (albeit undesireable) but common in some kids nonetheless.
However, I view biting just like any other behavior that isn't conducive to GROUP care.
In other words, if ONE child's behavior proves to be a risk or danger to others, THAT child needs to go.
I can NOT risk other kids being hurt/bit and I certainly can't risk MY financial stability simply because ONE family has the unfortunate issue of having a biter.
THEY need to figure out how to manage that. Either via a nanny, new care arrangements or whatever.
Just like a kid who hits others
or spits
or swears
or pushes
or kicks
or screams all day
Kids with those types of unwanted behaviors get ONE chance to work through it and if it isn't solved, they gotta go.
It's sad and not at all the outcome I prefer but I HAVE to do what's best for the group as I am a GROUP care provider not a nanny.