Originally Posted by nannyde:
She's given you the out you need. She's gifted you with "he doesn't ever do it anywhere else".
That's what you need when discussing this with her. You don't need a behavior plan and you don't need mom to agree that anything is wrong with him.
What you need to discuss is that it is only in your care that he behaves this way and he deserves to be cared for by parents, family, or other providers where he behaves as mom describes. He deserves to be happy. He deserves to be somewhere where the other children aren't triggering his outbursts.
She's offered this to you... TAKE IT. He has excellent behavior everywhere else. He needs to be where his excellent behavior is his normal behavior.
Providers get way too wrapped up in the parent acknowledging the kids behavior. Her acknowledgement won't make you any money. It doesn't matter whether she agrees with it or not. It's just her opinion and her opinion doesn't make you money. She can walk out the door with her opinion.
There is NOTHING you are going to do to change his behavior. There's nothing the Mom can do WITH you to change it. He needs to be in an environment where there are the adults around who are trained to deal with his violence and are able to legally physically restrain him. That means training and a special place.
Boot him out. He is NOT a special needs child so you have zero obligation to provide any plans or extra services for him. His Mom is saying he's perfectly normal at home and everywhere else so he can't have a behavioral disability. Believe THAT.
So what should I do? If I can't get the behavior to change then he cannot be here. How would I go about broaching this w/ dcm? Do I just give her a term notice? do I detail the instances of his aggression today and give it w/ a notice? do i give 2 weeks or not? (I don't care about the money, seriously, I care much more about enjoying my job and helping to raise happy, healthy, well adjusted kids)