Thread: 4 Yr Old Bully
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Old 07-19-2019, 06:10 AM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,858

DSo true
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Impulse control problems lead to prison and yes kids getting kicked out of preschool does not help the situation because for some of them we are all they have. I worked with a kid two days a week for over a year and when he went to school it undid everything I had worked on because of lack of supervision, lack of teachers ability to give consequences and a parent who didnít give a hoot.

If we as teachers/educators/carers are responsible for so much and for sending a kid to prison then why the hell donít we have any power to refer? Assess? Give real consequences? They blame us for everything but we have no power to actually do anything. Every one of us knows what needs to be done but rarely can we do it. We come up against a brick wall called parents and BS policies.
So true! Honestly, almost every "term" I had were because of the parents, not the kid, but one was so violent years ago, I reached out to EVERYONE for help. Early Childhood, social workers, childcare resource people, anyone who might give me a clue as to what I could do with him. He was 2 when I got him, 3 when I termed.

I was told again and again that it was "normal" because toddlers bite, kick, hit, throw tantrums. I said sure, but not 20+ times a day, every day! He didn't "play" at all. He just wandered around, looking for someone to beat on. I'd try to get him interested in puzzles or playing with cars or coloring, but he'd bang 2 cars together for a minute and then just wander off looking for trouble.

I was 8 months pregnant and he would run off down the street EVERY SINGLE time we went for a walk. The only way we could go was with him in a stroller, but then he'd grab/scratch the younger child behind him. In the yard, he'd literally yank kids off the riding toys or climber. No warning, no "reason", just random and often. One morning, I counted 15 "attacks" in 2 hours!

After referring him to EC, I ended up terming, no surprise to mom. He qualified for early childhood-and that didn't work out; the structure made his behavior even worse and he completely regressed with potty training. So, mom ended up quitting her job and stayed home with him until school started, and low-and-behold, he ended up in the gifted-and-talented program ( back when they had those), and was a talented athlete.

Mom and I stay in contact on FB. He is now a 20 year old man, and recently saved a random woman's life. It sounds like he's turned into a nice young man.

Sometimes "bad" kids are truly just misunderstood, but I could not deal with his behavior. Not by myself, without support, and with much younger children around. No one, myself included, was safe with him around.

I'm glad things turned out for him, but it was beyond my skill set or resources.
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