We all comfort but sometimes comforting does not help at all and sometimes makes things worse. I also find that giving attention for a tantrum cry makes it worse. For example if a child tantrums at drop off and cries and I coddle and cajole that child more than a minute or so, it gets infinitely worse and goes on for much longer. If I say “I am sorry you are feeling sad, would you like a hug? Ok you can come join us when you are finished crying”. It gives them permission to continue crying if they need to and gives them the power to stop if they want to.

Unfortunately in a group setting it is not always possible to give one child all of the attention all day long and some kids literally cry over everything! I also do not see negative emotions as a bad thing. Learning to self soothe is a huge skill that needs to be taught to kids. When they realize they can calm down on their own and they are in charge of their emotions they develop a sense of independance and self esteem.

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