Thread: Lingering DCD
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QualiTcare 06:25 PM 02-04-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't know.

For one the Dad obviously HAD thirty extra minutes this morning to one to one his kid, be with him, bond... give him lovin. Why couldn't they have done that at home? Why couldn't he have kept little guy home for thirty minutes and just give him undivided loving fatherly attention?

The drop off at day care shouldn't be a bonding experience between parent and child. Once you take your kid out in public and there is a transfer of who is caring for the child the idea is to make that transfer go smoothly for EVERYBODY... not just the kid and the Dad. It's the Dad's responsibility to make sure the kid is on his best behavior during these times. He wasn't doing this and was actually purposefully escalating the child by playing "poopy head" games ... leaving.. and returning to gear him back up.

I think there is a contingent of parents who really LIKE the drama at the door. They want to have that activity with the kid AROUND another adult. There's something inside of them that likes "showing off" their "I love me and mines the most bestest ever in the history of parenthood".

The Dad is most likely not dense in the head. After a few minutes it was most likely painfully clear that the provider didn't like the behavior in her house but he felt powerful and bold enough to let it go on and on and on... leave... then restart and go on and on and on.

THAT is a badly behaved adult. We shouldn't have to be any part of that just because they are a "parent" and it's "my child". If they are going to do the "me and mines" then they need to do it in PRIVATE where it REALLY counts.

Love up your kid and give your kid THAT kind of attention when you and your family are with them. Don't do it at the expense of a house full of people in public. It's rude.

If he's lacking in time with his kid. If he is having bad feelings about how much he is really raising his kid... then work with the other parent and make some changes. Don't involve a house full of people that have NOTHING to do with it by putting on a dog and pony show of badly behaving kid and adult at the door while she is trying to operate her business.
i didn't say it was okay for him to continue doing what he was doing. i actually said it needed to be stopped and i agree doing the exchange at the door would solve the problem.

i just don't think it's the typical power struggle or dramatic parent in this case.

the dad spending an extra 30 minutes "giving lovin'" at home wouldn't change a thing. there are husbands that go away for work and their wives know months in advance it's going to happen. that doesn't stop the water-works when the time actually comes. someone who sends their child to kindergarten has 5 years to prepare and give them love, but the actual moment of separation is still hard.

again, the fact that this dad/child might have a tough time with goodbyes due to the circumstances doesn't mean the provider should let it go. i think the same method would work with them that works with parents who are just dramatic or kids who are playing their parents. i'm just saying, i think in this particular case - it's not a matter of drama or stubborness, but more than likely it's a child who knows his dad WON'T be there that afternoon and a dad who has a hard time letting go bc of it.
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