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My3cents 10:38 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by MCC:
The 18 month old that has hearing loss (I posted about last week) is terming. We have been having problems with naps, and behavior, and I have been very open to working with this family on the issues. Ex: moving nap time from 1pm to 2pm, as she seems to nap better at that time. I rearranged the whole day to try to work with them, and have been very understanding about the fact that they didn't tell me she had a hearing loss at the interview. IF you have other kids or plan to have other kids, you are correct in finding a schedule that works for you and in the best interest of all the children. I see nothing wrong with having this child take an afternoon nap if that is how you work your day. Most people do this. I would be blunt with parents and ask them why they felt I shouldn't know about the hearing loss? I have a space on my contract that states- Anything else I should know about your child? With several lines for notes from the parents. This is not a little something to leave out, it is kind of important to know if the child can fully hear or not-

On Friday, I had a one on one with DCM that I wanted to have a meeting with her and DCD about the actual diagnosis, and after her 18 month appointment, I would need the Dr.'s input on how to move forward. I also have a state reg. form for children with any type of "special need" and I needed it filled out by the Dr. your program and if this is what your asking for, you are in your right to have a parent give you this information. You need this information to be able to move forward and help the child.

She came today, and I could tell by the way she handed me her crumpled up check, that she was pissed. She told me that DCG only took morning naps now, and I told her that I needed her to take the PM nap, and I was going to try to get her to do that.A parent should not tell you how to run your program. They can suggest but if they out right demand this, they need to find other care that will cater to them being the boss and business owner. You do group care, group care is not nanny care or one on one care. She seemed like she needed more, so I asked "Where are you right now with keeping DCG here?" I personally would not ask this question, because it does make you seem like you hope she is going to go somewhere else. I would have rephrased this to be more on the lines of, This is where I am right now. I do group care and all my kids rest,nap or have quiet time. This is my only break of the day and it benefits everyone to have this time. I don't care for non-napping children. and she said "this is not my two weeks notice, but we are looking for other care". At that point, I would have said well I can see how you are dissatisfied with my care and not willing to try to work things out, so this is my two weeks notice to you- In the best interest of both parties I think it is best that we both move on and I wish you luck with finding care that better suits your needs. I would suggest a nanny and explain how a nanny charges much more because the services is one on on. She told me she was OFFENDED that I would say that there was something wrong with her child and that she thought I was too frustrated with DCG over the naps. I would have said I am offended that you did not tell me that your child has hearing loss from the get go and consider this my two week notice to you, care will no longer be available to you at this date.....

I reassured her that I wasn't frustrated at all, but having an 18 month old not nap, makes for a some what disorganized day, and I feel that I can't finish dishes from lunch, much less make my own lunch.Less said is more. When you say too much, you open up room for negotiation. Your not working for her. She is using your services. I also assured her that I never said there was something wrong with her kid. (She is obviously taking this very personally, as I think any mom would). I don't think any mom would take it personally. Your telling her something to help benefit her child. If she is taking it personally don't take that on. Most parents would be welcomed to hear if a child had an issue so that it can be corrected or looked at. She then said that she loves having DCG here, but she is pulling b/c she is offended. I wouldn't want to work with this parent. My response would have been the last thing I am trying to do is offend you, I am trying to help your child. This will not be the last time she hears this from a provider or teacher. Any chance she is just looking for another daycare that is less expensive and easier to manipulate- sure sounds it

I am slightly torn up about this, that she thinks I'm frustrated, which I am not, maybe annoyed, but I think frustrated is a strong word to use in reference to a child's behavior. And that she thinks I said her kid had something wrong with them. All you can do is let the comment roll off your back. I would have responded with I am more frustrated at you for not hearing what I am telling you. I am telling you these things out of concern.

Am I putting too much on this? I should just let this go right? I would let this client go, seems like your never going to please her and she is always going to want special. I don't say to term easily. I always try to work things out first. You have, if you continue to put up with this, your going to end up looking unprofessional and it could effect your other clients that see this going on, have a trickle down effect so to speak.

Also- is it fair for me to give her two weeks now, so I can fill the spot? yes, you should have called her bluff and told her well I will help you along and here is your two weeks notice. I wrote more above on this.
I am going to respond and then read to see how I align with others thoughts on this.

I would have done the same thing that you have when I first started out, but so many others here helped me to have a fair back bone and experience along the way has helped. I highly recommend that you have a rule/policy/hand book and contract, if you don't already. Don't let parents tell you how it is going to be. This is your business, your the one that is with this child 40-50 plus hours a week. If they want the kind of care that they have more control in, then a Nanny is needed.

Good luck- now going to read and see how everyone else would handle this.
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