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kendallina 03:31 AM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
We have a 3 yr old in our care who just refuses to listen to anything, no matter what it is lately. No matter if we're telling her what to do or what not to do. She'll be running around indoors along with some others. I remind them all, "walking feet". She continues running. I repeat, "walking feet", she ignores me. I physically stop her and tell her more firmly, "we can't run inside". She grins at me and continues to run...
After I tell her the first time to walk inside, if she refuses to listen I'd grab her hand gently and walk with her, not saying anything else, but giving 'the look".


Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
she often has "accidents" in her pants, so we remind everyone to go potty at certain times. She ignores us. So we'll directly tell her more firmly, "go potty". "No! I don't need to!" Two minutes later, she's wet her pants.
Does she potty at home without any problems? I'd ask her parents what they're doing here. Does she just not want to stop playing with her toys? First, I'd make sure that she has a way to 'save' her toys if that seems to be a problem.

Then, after telling her once that she needs to go into the potty, if she doesn't listen, I'd gently grab her hand and lead her in there. Not saying anything or just saying, "you have to try to go potty, it's not a choice." firmly. But ignoring anything else she says to you.


Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
At nap time, "Time to put our books down. It's nap time." 3 yr old, who may not even have a book at that moment, but the others do (and they lay them down as told), she gets up and grabs a book then. We'll tell her again that it's time to put it up, and she ignores us. Or just smiles, like she thinks we'll just laugh about it. But obviously I'm not laughing, nor have I ever when she doesn't listen.
Before you even say to the group, "Time to put your books down" make sure someone is standing near her cot and don't even allow her to get up. I'd maybe say, "Nope. Lay down." nicely, firmly, but I wouldn't engage in any other conversation with her about it. and wouldn't let her see how annoyed I was at her laughing (Errr...this really gets me annoyed when they laugh just to get a reaction).

Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
If she gets put in time-out for some reason, she'll jump up and grab a toy to play with as soon as our back is turned. We get after her and take it from her. She just grins again, in that defiant "I don't care what you say" look. Lately her listening has gotten so bad that I don't know what else to do but put her in a time out when she refuses to listen. But as soon as I talk to her about why she was placed there (because she wasn't listening), she gets up and just a minute later she's doing something that I ask her not to, or remind her of the rule. And she'll ignore me.
Again, I know it's extremely difficult to just be by her all the time, but when she's in time out someone needs to be standing near her. Not necessarily looking directly at her because you don't want to pay her toomuch attention. But, looking at her through the corner of your eye and busying yourself with something else, but as soon as she tries to get up, nab her hand gently, saying, "sit down. now your time is starting over." and let her see that you are resetting the timer.

Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
We do the count down thing and everything (letting the children know that in 5 minutes it's time to wash hands or whatever. Then we tell them it's time for x). But 3 yr old doesn't pay any attention whatsoever. I don't know what else to do! I'm getting so frustrated with her refusal to listen, and I know nothing at home has changed, so there's nothing like that that could be causing her to ignore us more than usual. But seriously, she refuses to listen even when it's something she should like doing. Like "lets put our shoes on so we can go outside". Of course she doesn't. So everyone is ready to go out and she's still going around playing without shoes on. "why don't you have shoes on? We're all ready to go out." She grins, shrugs, and says, "I couldn't find them". I know she didn't even look because they're sometimes right in obvious sight. There is no way she couldn't have not been able to find them, if she'd just looked. Of course they aren't where they were supposed to be because she won't listen and put them back where they belong when she takes them off. I don't have time with all the other children and everything else to do to follow along behind this girl and make sure she does what she's supposed to, of course. And I know it's developmentally appropriate to expect certain things out of her, like putting her shoes on, because she used to. She knows how to do the stuff we ask of her. She just chooses not to. ideas anyone before I pull my hair out? Talking to parents doesn't change anything. Already tried.
With the shoes, as soon as I said, 'time to get on shoes," I'd go to her, walk her to her shoes (which you need to make sure that she puts in the right place), hold her hand, tell her to pick them up and sit down. Sit with her until she gets them on, not engaging with her, looking around the room, but maybe givingher the eye occassionally. If she's not ready by the time everyone goes out, I would do as PP suggested and make her pick them up and sit right outside the door while everyone plays until she gets them on.
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I would probably sit her down on that first day that you're going to start being 'tough' on her and tell her very calmly that you've had enough, she hasn't been listening when she comes to day care and that it's not ok. I'd tell her that you will no longer tell her more than once when she needs to do something. I'd tell her that you know she is a smart girl and that you love having her a daycare, but her not listening has to stop. It is not a choice to not listen to her teachers. Then, I'd end the conversation on a good note, like...'what do you want to play today?'with a smile on your face. Maybe even ask for a hug before she goes to play. I would also play with her a lot that day, be really smiley when she's doing good,shoot her little smiles from across the roomwhen she's playing well, and give lots of hugs for good things etc.

This is going to be a team effort. While the one person is making sure she is doing what she should be doing, the other teachers have to attend to the rest of the room. If you're able to really stick with this, it shouldn't take more than a week or so to see some improvement in behavior.

I had a little girl like this at the beginning of this year and I was tough on her, never told her more than once to do something, would lead her around silently when she needed to do something and now she is one of my FAVORITE kiddos. She does soo well now. And now many times all she needs is the look to do what she's supposed to. I also give her lots of attention at other, good times. Good luck, I hope this helps...
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