Originally Posted by clep:
I think mom perpetuates the situation and dad is of no aid. He is a child psychologist so instead of addressing the behavior, he leaves that part of things and focuses on why she is behaving that way. He tries to figure it out while mom is consoling her. I also think that boundaries are few and far between with the parents. They ask her all the time if she wants to do things and if she doesn't they make an effort to gain her approval before they do whatever it is.
I have a friend who is a child therapist. Love her to death, good friend. But her son, 2 yrs old, is absolutely out of control with his screaming tantrums. Part of the problem is, he is THE boss. She gives him a choice about EVERYTHING. He eats whenever he wants and whatever he pleases, refuses to sit still at a table to eat so he takes food & drinks wherever he plays, and she entertains him 100% of the time. She says he doesn't like to play alone.
Occasionally I watch him as a drop in if I have room; or in the evenings so his parents can go on a date. He never used to try the screaming tantrums for me. Never. Until a couple weekends ago when I agreed to watch him for a couple hours while his parents went out. He threw a screaming, kicking tantrum while his mom left. I put him in timeout and he started to kick my walls. I actually got eye level with him and gave him a very stern look and said "NO. You do NOT scream and kick." It stopped immediately. His screaming turned into whimpering that quickly calmed down to sniffles. His timeout was then done and he went to go play. Happy as a clam for the rest of the day, and I haven't seen a screaming tantrum (with me in charge) ever since.
Have you tried getting eye level with her and telling her this screaming is absolutely NOT acceptable? Have you gotten stern with her? Sometimes I will say "This screaming is NOT acceptable. If you do not stop when I count to 3, you go to timeout. 99% of the time, they are done by 3 and off they go to play.