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Old 09-14-2010, 08:16 PM
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misol misol is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 722

Let me repeat - I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT EVER spank a kid that is not my own and I DID NOT, HAVE NOT, AND WILL NOT spank my kids in front of a daycare kid. I took her to the bathroom and swatted her twice on the butt while she was wearing a diaper and fully clothed. We came out of the bathroom immediately and she was NOT crying at all. I did not hurt her but I did get her attention which was my intent in the first place. The dcb did not see or hear the indicent take place. He was in the play room playing at the time. My daugher is young so, like a pp said, waiting to spank her after daycare hours defeats the purpose because by then she would have forgotten what she did wrong.

I highly doubt that dcb has been traumatized by hearing me say "The next step is going to be a spanking." If he is so sheltered and has supposedly never even heard the word spank before then how on earth would he even know what I was talking about??????

It baffles me that a mother so passionately against violence and physical punishment would allow her own child to hit and kick her without any consequences. What message is THAT sending? MY CHILDREN were traumatized by witnessing THAT (and frankly so was I!!!) It's happened on more than one occasion at my house so I can only imagine what the scene is like at their home. As a result, I've had to give MY kids a talk about how it is not ok to hit Mom or Dad and how it is important that they are respectful to adults.

I hate to start playing the blame game here but I can assure all of you that this dcb has exposed the kids in my care (including my own) to way more negative and violent behavior than he has ever picked up from here. He is violent and very disrespectful to adults and NOW I understand why it has been nearly impossible for me to curtail these behaviors. I don't blame the child, I blame the parents. In all the years I have been interacting with children I have never had to deal with one like him. It is a nightmare every week when we go on our field trip. On several occasions I have had people look at me and shake their heads in disgust when they see his behavior. I think this reflects negatively on me as a provider because it appears to outsiders as if I have no control over the group of kids in my care even though only one kid is acting out. But, I continue to take the kids out because I don't think the other kids should have to suffer because I have one that misbehaves. The mom has told me herself that it has gotten to the point where she won't even take the kids anywhere without her husband there to help control the chaos.

I am not a monster and I do not "beat" my kids. I would be the first person to call authorities if I thought a child was being abused. I don't spank my children because I DON'T love them, I spank them because I DO love them. Parents who choose not to spank are one thing, but parents who choose not to use ANY form of discipline at all are doing their children (and society) a great disservice. When you raise your child this way, you should be mindful that they will probably not do well in the care of another person so be prepared to stay home with them.

I am sure I will miss them when they are gone but this may be the best for all involved. Our parenting styles are too different. She will be hard pressed to find another provider willing to deal with dcb's behavior. He definitely needs a one on one care situation rather than a group setting.

I am just glad that she trusts me enough to know that I would never hurt her children. What really scares me though, is how he could have just as easily accused me of doing something far worse.
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