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Unregistered 02:04 PM 03-23-2011
Model good care in front of her, correct her in front of the children if you must, use your cell to record her dialog ( in your pocket) and talk to every parent about what happened at the end of the day. Join a local group and also talk to your training staff about how to handle the situation. Look for another job, and keep your cool.

You may lose this job.

She may keep hers.

The children deserve better and so do you, but she may not know how to handle situations another way, may have been treated that way herself, and may have a pretty loyal group of families who will have a difficult time moving.

Make her presence unnecessary by handling situations well without her ( I've got it, don't worry, blah, blah, blah)

Is the church daycare unregulated?

You need some advocates and a plan to improve things. The pastor knows his wife pretty well.
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