I saw the beginning of your post and immediately thought "yay, the 4 year old is finally trained" . . . then I read the rest
. Ugh, seriously, they need to buckle down and take control. Some kids really just need a "hard" push and not a gentle "she will do it when she's ready" push. Been there, done that with my dd. Finally when my dd was 3, I gave her a "hard" push because I knew she was more than ready (she just wasn't in the mood to do it herself). Good luck! It won't be an easy road for the parents, especially now that your dcg is 4 and fully believes she's in control.