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misol 07:20 PM 09-15-2010
Originally Posted by :
But clearly the child heard you spank or swat (whatever you choose to call it) your child or heard you threatening to spank/swat your child. How else would he have an undisputed occurance that you admit to report back to mom?
Yes, I said that dcb may have heard me say "spank" but I am 100% certain that he did not see or hear it because A) he was in a completely different room and B) there was nothing to see (I was behind a closed door) or hear (she did not cry).

Originally Posted by :
I know I wasn't in your home during the situation but I do have to side with the mom in that she should have known at time of enrollment that you spank your children during daycare hours and that she needed to know things of that nature could occur around her children. I also agree with a PP in that if licensing does not allow corporal punishment that you should not engage in that during daycare hours even if it is your own child.
In the interview, this mom only inquired about my discipline methods as they related to her children. Had she asked me about the discipline methods I use on my OWN children, I would have certainly discussed that with her. She never even mentioned to me that she had an issue with time-outs (I think she said that in her post). It's odd to me that a cardholding member of the anti-spanking coalition would not ask this question when interviewing a provider.

Originally Posted by :
Another item to consider--people speak of having respect for those with differing parenting styles but OP stated that dck's are uncontrollable because their parents do not discipline them (judgmental and not respectful of the parents' choices). I urge everyone that does not have grown children to consider that the effects of your parenting styles have yet to be determined....including myself.

I do respect different parenting styles - as a parenting style is comprised of way more than just discipline methods. I will say, again, that I can respect a parent's decision not to spank but I cannot respect a parent's decision to do nothing. I have dealt with plenty of parents who don't spank. Most of their kids are respectful and exhibit behaviors typical for their ages. They were not out of control, disrespectful, and obnoxious. This is because even though their parents don't spank them, they still use some form of discpline with their children. And let me go on record as saying that ignoring a behavior hoping it will go away does not constitute discipline in my book. These are the same kinds of parents who end up on a talk shows crying and begging for help because they have out of control teens. The bottom line is that you can either discipline them yourself now, or have the penal system discipline them later.

Originally Posted by Crystal:
But I'd NEVER even mention spanking in front of a dck or dcp.....it's just asking for trouble.
You are right and I've had to learn the hard way. I did not expect to ever have to spank my kids during daycare hours but it happened. And since I cannot predict how and when my kids are going to act out or predict when my normal methods of discpline are not going to be effective - it may very well happen again. One thing I am certain of though, is that no other daycare kid will ever hear me threaten a spanking again.
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