I completely understand if no one has time for this but if u do please help me. I thank u greatly! I am a state certified provider who takes clients through the welfare system. State pays me $20 per day for preschoolers and $15 a day for school age. Anytime under 2 hrs I only get $5 for the day, under 4 hrs I only get $10 anything up to 12 hrs I get $20) If the kids arent in care I dont get paid. No holidays, no vacation etc, nothing paid. I am a single mom this is my only income.

I have a 2 1/2 yr old DCB that has been here for 1 year as of this week. When he 1st came here he was very violent towards me. Thank goodness I didn't have other kids at the time. When his Mom would drop him off his separation anxiety was actually like a rage. I would try to comfort him and he would slap me in the face and pull my hair etc. So after a week of having my hair pulled out I had enough and let him lie of the floor til he was done. We would then begin to play and gradually learn a few things.

Then the rage started also happening when it came time to leave the playground or park etc. He would beat on me more until I got him home and was able to release him (i know i should have taken a stroller but it wasnt a long walk, lesson learned). I had to stop taking him to the park and playground. I would let him play in my yard on the swingset and sandbox etc due to the fear of taking him out but when it was time to come in same thing, attack! He can be good as well he's not all bad but as soon as he doesnt get what he wants look out!!

Then 1 day I walked to school at 3pm as usual to pick up my son. He was walking fine until he saw his grandma who pulled the car over let him sit in the seat and told him he could spend the night this weekend. Now a 2 yr old does not know what this weekend means so when she handed him back he threw a holy fit! She said sorry and drove off. I had to get to the school to get my son but he is on the ground kicking and screaming. I picked him up and carried him 3 blocks trying to hold his hands down but it was too hard. He was fighting squirming kicking. He literally clawed my eyes scratching my eye lid. Kicked me in the stomach, and bruised my arm he pinched it so hard and had a handful of hair at the same time. I finally had to stop and send a neighbor to get my son and bring him to me. People were stopping and staring I was so humiliated!! My hair 1/2 pulled out of the ponytail and red marks all over my face and a screaming toddler! I had to call my mom to pick us up as I could no longer carry him. My neck was bleeding from the scratches my eyelid was now swollen and I just lost it. I would tell his mother about all of these fits she would just beg me not to drop her she didnt have anyone etc. She is a single Mom but has a live in boyfriend and sisters, friends, a mom and dad, all busy I guess. She was working mid day shifts. I would have him from 10:30am until 8:30 pm. She said there was no one else that would take him so I felt bad and needing the money myself I allowed him to stay but had to have my Mother pick my son up from then on in case this ever happened again. I called the monitor for advise who then directed me to a behavior specialist. Nothing she advised helped.

This anger/rage went on for months but he was the only child at the time so I had to endure it. One Friday in early winter he had been acting out all day and I had enough. I was putting on his shoes which he didnt want on so he kicked me in the face! I didnt bleed but it hurt! 10 mins later his Mom came and I wasnt happy. She said I looked like I needed a break and I said yeah I do! Then DCB tries pulling my mini trampoline out from behind my chair. I ask him to stop and he starts beating it against the wall the digital display is flashing so I bark at him PLEASE STOP IT!! She gets mad grabs him and says come on lets go home! 2 minutes later I get a text while she is driving home that she wont be bringing him back because she doesnt like people downing her kid! WHAT??? OMG! I hate when people text while driving, with a todder in the car especially! I freak out and call her and leave voice mail to call when she gets home. An hour later she wont pick up. So I finally text back saying ok thats fine if u dont want to discuss it but u were contracted to give a 2 week written notice. (I'm not allowed to charge anything either, only days the child is actually in care) She then texts she will give me 1 and find a center to take him to. Monday comes and my son was upset she was pulling her son. She tells him "oh dont worry honey i was just mad from something at work i'm not pulling him" I about hit the floor!! I was worried sick all weekend and she never meant it?? I told her that was wrong of her to do to me! She said oh sorry I should have told u sooner.

So finally 1 of my old kids comes back into daycare who is 3 his mother comes off and on when she feels like working so not steady pay at all. So as usual I just dealt with it making his time outs longer and longer before I would allow any fun or projects. Over time he calmed down with the seperation rage but he does still snap when he has to come in. Even when we clean up for dinner he gets angry and hits walls screams no and swings at me.

Tonight we invited my Mom as usual to dinner and DCB acted out as he sometimes does only it has been worse this past week. He was kicking the table and throwing food and laughing when we said it wasnt nice. We told him stop and he spit food on the table. I used my stern voice and he pointed at me as usual and yelled NO DONT U TELL ME! making that angry face. My son told him he would like to eat in peace. DCB then tells my son to get out of the house! I removed DCB to a time out chair and told him when he was ready to eat nicely he could return. He said he was sorry I put him back at the table and he started again. We ignored his spitting food until he spit it in moms plate. I had enough and told him he was going back to time out and he then threw his plate across the table. I hated to inform the Mom but I was so upset my stomach was hurting. I cant even eat family dinner in peace now? My poor child shares his home with this kid for EVERY MEAL until 6:30 (now that she changed shift but it's still 10 hr shifts) I text her informing her of the situation and asked what I should do thinking perhaps she encounters this. She ignored it. (shes texts all day so i know she got it) So I text again 10 mins later asking if she got the text. She said "yes and I dont know what to tell u either dont feed him and i will feed him tv dinners every night or u will have to change your meal time to a later time because I cant be there to stop him". OMG! Change MY meal times to suit YOUR child because he cant controll himself? Now I am so upset I am just sick!

I hate to mention things to his Mom for fear of her pulling him. She threatened just 2 weeks ago to pull him again because I had 3 unscheduled closings this month. 1 an unscheduled pick up as flood was coming into my basement (u have to cut power). 2 unscheduled because my mom was taken from her home by ambulance i wanted to go to the hosp. and the last unscheduled was my son being sent home with strep throat. She was mad because she claims to have no one yet all through summer when SHE wants him to go to the park 5 dif people pick him up at various times.

I have 2 new kids so I could make it paycheck to paycheck but I want more for my child. We couldnt afford to go on any vacation at all last yr. I would like to save for 1 this yr so I keep tolerating it. Plus I have brough this boy a LONG way! When he 1st came he didnt have much vocab and didnt know shapes number etc. I have taught him everything as well as manage to get him calmed down a lot so I feel like I have put so much effort into him I hate to see it all go away. I feel like the mom is just very rude now compared to the beginning when she literally begged me to keep him in care. I think she knows now she can find a center since she changed her hours but I deserve respect. What do I do to get it? How do I get this child to settle down? I have NEVER in my life seen such an angry 2 yr old. She says hes bipolar but that cannot be diagnosed for years to come and she jokes about her family being bipolar. It's not a joke!

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