Wow! Your family has really been through the wringer.
My first question is about your contract. Do you have one with your provider? Sounds like you do.
Second question. Did you keep you provider up to date on whether you would be there from day to day or even week to week?

As for all the back pay, were you just assuming your spot would be there available to you when you did need to return? Then you pay for the spot if you use it or not.

It sounds like your provider is a bit cut and dried, and that's her right. But if you have any other options, I'd give notice now and move on and try to find a more understanding provider. If you signed a contract, it could likely hold up in court.

I am a provider, and if I were in her shoes, I'd try to give you a break. I don't know how much, depends on what I could handle financially, how much I wanted to keep you as clients, and how much communication we had about the situation.

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