But why would it have ever gotten to that point? There are extreme cases where a child has these issues and I have faced some difficult kids- one I worked with had a diagnosed explosive whatever disorder a million years ago. But this is a typically developing 4 year old who has never had such issues. Ok so he is a little cranky from a lack of sleep. But I think this environment is the obvious problem. It seems obvious from my POV. Mom thinks he stays up at night from worry and stress well, where is that coming from? Why can he write letters of apology? Does he get a chance to free play, child directed, for good long stretches of time? Does he have competent leaders teaching him how to communicate and cooperate and negotiate with peers? Mom, have you LOOKED at any other programs? Programs that are playbased, with plenty of outside time? I bet if you go see one or two, your outlook will change. 'problem' children are created when they are placed in situations that they cannot preform what is asked. Put him in a situation where he can be successful and just see how happy you both can be. When I said 'inappropriate' I didn't mean 'socially bad' like when someone will say something like 'fart jokes are inappropriate' lol. I meant developmentally it is not what his mind and body can do. He needs a developmentally appropriate program. It's also a buzz word. Programs love to use the words "developmentally appropriate" when they are completely not. Real developmentally appropriate for your 4 year old is child directed (teachers didn't direct the way they play), free play, outdoors. I might sound extreme on this spectrum, I understand that. It is because the children need it and the adults need to hear it. Too many programs rob children of this basic need - in the name of education. It literally ruins the child's educational development. Research Peter Gray. He has a lot to say on the subject. He links the increase in teen suicide and depression to lack of free play in early childhood. I would love to hear back from you, Mom. I am truly curious if this teacher is really the 'lead' at the other program and if she has a recent ECE class at all. And I would love to know if you go look at 2, at least 2, New programs that are play based and what your reactions to those are. Find true factual answers not what the director says off handedly in an intentionally misleading way. I know you don't want to believe it, but the director has a business to run and she will vaguely say what she has to if it keeps parents happy. She isn't lying if she says 'i believe' she is the lead, etc.

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