I am a member but due to the highly sensitive nature of this issue, I'm logged out.

I run an inclusionary child care home that caters to medically fragile and/or foster children. It's not my ONLY clientele, but they are a large part of it, USUALLY. Lately, however, I've had more "mainstream" children and the majority of my current parents have typical children, except two kiddos; one of whom is special needs but part time. The other is a foster child who has a history of sexual abuse. My typical families do not know I have a foster child enrolled.

The part time child was here today and is on a specialized diet as he is unable to control his hunger. He has a condition where he will eat until he is literally sick... and still continue to try to eat. He just has no idea when he's full. As a result, we keep him away from the kitchen at all times (he will steal food) and we keep his food separate from the other children's foods--he brings meals from home due to his restricted calorie intake.

This afternoon, however, we were having imitation banana fosters as part of our lesson plan and he was allowed ONE as a treat (OK'd with mom and dietician). He gobbled it down in about a minute and the proceeded to attempt to eat his neighbors', who happens to be the little girl who was sexual abused. We were able to stop him, but she got VERY upset by it all and during nap she began to act out sexually right there on the mat in the middle of the living room.

My assistant was there to redirect the behavior, however it escalated VERY quickly and at one point the young lady was fully exposed, masturbating herself (in some form) in the middle room before we could get her safely separated. The entire situation from start to de-escalation was probably 3-4 minutes, but in the mix of it all the other children saw and there was a marked disruption in the day.

We called the foster mom, therapist, and put in an email to the resource coordinator for this little peanut regarding the issue but we now have other parents to deal with. We know for a fact that little "A", a typically developing 4 year old saw the incident and told his mom (probably on the way home!) because she left a voicemail on my cell not too long ago asking me to call her right away. By policy, she knows I'm not going to call until my last child leaves around 6.

Normally, with any other children, we would tell parents there was a situation and try not be too specific or call anyone out- but in this situation we were advised not to mention it to the to other parents by the therapist and foster mom as it is a breach of confidentiality as far as they are concerned. I don't know what to do?! The parents deserve an explanation and I want to give them one, but this was not an exhibition of typical exploration that can be explained away as such. If "A" described to mom what happened even 75% accurately, then she will certainly have questions beyond any benign explanation I can give her without giving a little backstory on the little girl (which is a no-no). So, how do I handle this? In my 5 years of doing specialized care this is the first time I've had an incident quite like this.

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