I had a little boy, 2.5, this past March. I had him from march 12th to March 23d. Almost 2 full weeks. By the end of the first week I couldn't take it anymore. I could tell he was in the autistic spectrum but I obviously can't diagnose that. I tried asking the mom questions...how he handled his previous day care (oh fine, he was in the same place from the time he was 6 months old until last month and handled it very well!), and at one point, SHE brought up the whole autism thing...you know, after the interview and after he started coming.
There were just so many things that made it impossible for me to care for him...his own safety, the safety of the other children, and my own sanity. He hit my son, who was just learning to crawl in that military drag fashion, because he was coming too close to him for a second time and might knock over his line of toys.
He'd sit by the door and scream. We'd go outside and he'd bolt for the woods. He tried opening the outside door. I never had a problem with this until him, I had to buy doorknob covers (which I should have had anyway but never really thought about it since it was a non-issue). We'd stay inside, he'd scream. I'd make lunch, he'd scream. We'd go for a walk, he'd scream...both walking and if I put him in the stroller. Everything was him sobbing and shrieking.
Autism suspicion aside, he did things that were just BAD. Marking on my walls with a crayon while I was nursing, thank goodness it washed off. Trying to climb up on the table...it made no difference if I was there or not, he'd try it. He'd climb up, I'd pluck him off, he'd not even give a breath and wasn't even fully out of my hands before he was trying it again.
His mom said that anytime he misbehaved like that, that I should put him in time out immediately. Let me tell you, he did not understand what a time out was...There is a difference between knowing what it is and struggling and crying to get out and crying and struggling because they don't understand why they are there...
Finally, on Wednesday of the second week I pleaded with his mother if there was anything I was doing wrong, what could I do to make him happy...she asked me, "Whoa, what do you mean, make him happy? Isn't he happy?" she seriously had no idea, even though I would always tell her that he cried each day. She thought he was doing well with me, he was always very happy at home and never put up a fight to come to me.
Anyway, that turned into a big conversation...I told her I preferred not to talk about him in front of him and maybe she should come back later that night without him, but she insisted. I told her that i would be willing to continue for another 2 weeks. If he didn't show *some* improvement...it didn't have to be much...by those 2 weeks, I would not be able to provide care anymore. She accepted that, even though I felt sick even saying it because I knew it broke her heart hearing that her son was behaving this way for someone. She seemed shocked. I got an email from her later that night saying that she wouldn't be bringing him back and that she'd be by to pick up his things and give me my pay. She said she had no idea he was crying the entire time he was here, she just figured when I said, "he cried today" that I meant he only cried when she left and got better.
He was so high needs, autism or not, that there was no possible way I could safely look after my own two children and the other two day care children.
I feel bad for you...this is the worst experience a child care provider has to go through. "Why is he/she crying? What can *I* do? How long do I hang in there? Will it get better?" I'm sorry. It's never easy.
