So I wrote the following letter after realizing that this kid was not doing well in my care. He hardly ever showed up when he was supposed to, the parents keep him up till 9:30 at night and wanted me to have a much later schedule here. Feeding him and napping him at completely different times than the other children. This child was almost 2 yrs old. I'm so mad right now because i've never been talked to like this in my life. Please let me know if I did something wrong. I'm open to constructive critisicm. The following is the termination letter and than the correspondent e-mails that followed. I need you all's input as i'm very upset!!

Termination Notice

Dear Someone and Someone,

Please accept this letter as notice of termination of care for daycare kid.

Care is terminated effective today, ______.

Reason Given:

As a small home daycare provider, I am allowed only 5 children in my care at once. I assumed that it would be easy scheduling a part time child like Daycare Kid for only 2 days a week, as long as I received advanced notice of days and times. However, Daycare Kid has been more of a drop-in with days and times constantly changing at the spur of the moment or with “late” notice. I understand your situation completely and how you need a lot of flexibility, however, I am not able to give you that kind of flexibility. I have been unable to schedule an assistant appropriately with such late notice and I’ve either scheduled her too much or too little. I try to plan our meal schedule according to what each child likes on the days they are here, however this has also been difficult. Depending on the kids I have each day and their ages, we plan field trips, walks, crafts, activities and play-dates within the neighborhood accordingly. However, I have been unable to do any of these things while waiting to find out whether Daycare Kid will show up.
The last concern I have is for Daycare Kid. Though I understand there is an adjustment period and you all have moved around quite a bit recently, I believe the lack of a regular schedule is making it extremely difficult for Daycare Kid to adjust to being here. He cries most of the day even after lots of comforting and individualized attention. I had spoken with mom briefly about his schedule at home, and understand it changes from day to day and is VERY different from our schedule here.

I believe it is in our best interest to part ways. I hope you are able to find a daycare that will be a better fit for your needs as well as Daycare Kid's.

Please let me know should you have trouble finding care and need an additional day or two here. I'd be more than happy to help.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Sincerely,


Provider

Between Me and the Mom:

ME:
Dear Mom, I hope Daycare Kid is doing well and I guess you were able to find new care quickly as I didn't hear back from you. Once again, I'm sorry I couldn't be as flexible as you all needed but I knew there were others out there who could be! As a reminder, we didn't receive payment for his last day in care. I didn't expect the full $60 as he was not here but once that week. However, you owe $30 for the one day. I'm sure it was just overlooked and I understand that. If you all wouldn't mind sending the $30 as soon as possible, I'd appreciate it. Please let me know what your plans are regarding payment. Thank you! My address is ________________.

MOM:
You really left us in a bind. You expected us to give you two weeks notice if we weren't bringing Daycare Kid back, but we weren't afforded the same courtesy. We didn't bring Daycare Kid back since you didn't want him there and it was too difficult for you to give him two naps a day. We couldn't find daycare and my husband had to take vacation time that week to help me when I had a doctor's appointment. That is time he won't get to spend with me when the new baby comes. I will be in your neighborhood Thursday or Friday. I will deliver the money to your house and leave it for you if it is that important. .

ME:
I did not leave you in a bind. I told your husband that I would help you out until you found something if you needed it, but you all never called me. Ask him about that. My contract stated that I be given advanced notice of Daycare Kid's schedule. Unfortunately I was always told the very last minute of changes and alot of times I was called "after" Daycare Kid was supposed to have arrived. I can't operate like that. That is why I said "advanced" notice in the contract. I paid an assistant to be at my house every time Daycare Kid was supposed to come, as we were going to be full that day. However, when Daycare Kid didn't show up I ended up paying her needlessly and than having to schedule her again when Daycare Kid was rescheduled. I was losing more money than I was making. It was never too difficult to give him two naps a day. I never said that. You never discussed this with me, and I just went ahead and stuck to the schedule I gave you when you interviewed me. Like most daycares, naptime for an 18 month old and older is after lunch. Had you wanted me to change that, you should have talked to me. However it sounds like Daycare Kid's schedule at home is extremely different than the schedule I had for the children in my care. The issue you brought up with me was that you needed his nap to be much later in the day so you could keep him up till 9:30. I couldn't accomodate that and I'm sorry. A smaller daycare with less children would be better able to accomodate different schedules and I knew Daycare Kid would be better off with something different. I'm sorry you feel I left you in a bind, however, I did offer to help if you needed it a little longer. Rather than calling and discussing it with me, you chose to have your husband take vacation time. That was your choice. I do wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy. Yes, I do feel payment is important as I took good care of your son while he was in my care, and those were my rates. It's the principal of being honest.

MOM:
You did leave us in a bind. Why would I bring my child back to someone's house who did not want to watch him there. Daycare Kid is perceptive when people do not want him around so why would I bring him to you.
Whenever I filled out the paperwork for Daycare Kid to go to daycare, I filled out that Daycare Kid took two naps. Plus, we did discuss it the Friday before you expelled him from your daycare. We did give you advance warning that Daycare Kid was coming. I might have brought him later than 7:30 am, because I was throwing up all morning, but we did bring him on those days (they brought him at 11am some days without calling until 10 minutes before). The week I was sick, I know we changed the days, but we gave you at least a days notice (it was 9pm the night before or morning of). I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule.
I can't believe you are insinuating that we are not honest. If the money was that important, then you should have mentioned it when you cancelled your services with us instead of waiting a few weeks and then cowardly sending an e-mail instead of picking up the phone and calling. I would like all of the paperwork we filled out mailed to us along with the documents we need for our taxes. Our new address will be _________________.
This is our last conversation. I will leave the money on your doorstep later this week. .

ME:
Where could you possibly get the idea that I didn't "want" Daycare Kid. Daycare Kid was not doing well here and I couldn't accomodate the constant changing of drop off days. I wasn't mad about it, I wasn't even mad at Daycare Kid nor could I be. He is an adorable little boy and I was disappointed it wasn't going to work. I didn't want to give you all two weeks notice because than you would have been stuck with me for two weeks even if you found other arrangements. I thought I was helping you out by allowing you off the hook if you found something, while letting your husband know I could help if you needed it a little longer.

The schedule I have and try to stick to was built with the help of a pediatricians recommendation for kids and every parent I currently have in care. I have changed it slightly here and there to make it work for the group as a whole, however, I cannot have every child on a completely different schedule because it would be unsafe. I'd have to leave some of them downstairs, some of them outiside or some of them eating/sleeping by themselves. It didn't make any sense, so that is why I stick to a schedule that is best for the kids and not "my own" schedule. It had nothing to do with what I wanted. I'm very hurt that you would say these things. I didn't mention the money because I thought you guys seemed like the type of people who would pay and I figured you'd send it in the mail. I gave you a little while longer thinking you might have forgotten or it was taken a while to get here in the mail. I even left off the late fees.

If you would like me to call you I can. I'm not being a coward and I'm very hurt that you swould say such awful things to me. You stated that you didn't think paying me was important and I said it was because it was the principal of being honest. I didn't call you dishonest, just stating that you should pay when you have services given.

I'm really sad that you have found such hatred towards me. I never meant to hurt any of you and I was actually looking out for Daycare Kid when I let him go, as well as the other children in my daycare. I'm sorry if this hurt you or if you assumed that I didn't "like" daycare kid, but those are all assumptions and not the truth. I even said in my letter that someone else will probably better suit your schedules than I can. I'm running on very strict guidelines from social services and having to have an assistant as well as a minimum number of children in care make it a little more difficult to accomodate part timers, especially if the schedule constantly changes. I also stated that Daycare Kid was crying ALOT here, and didn't seem like he was adjusting. I was trying to be very honest.

I wish you all the best of luck, despite the horrible things you have said to me and hope you can find it in your heart to understand I was not trying to be mean when I let Daycare Kid go or terminated immediately. I was letting you out of the contract immediately and told your husband I'd help if you needed it. I should have called and discussed this with you, not just your husband, and i'm sorry I didn't. I figured you'd call me if you had any questions or needed me further.

As for the paperwork, I have to keep the paperwork on file for a year by law. If it's copies you need, please let me know which pages and I will fax or mail them to you. We don't do tax forms until tax season. I am able to put your new address on file and I can get that document to you as soon as it is prepared later this year. Let me know if you need anything else.

MOM:
I don't hate you. I just think this is a messed up situation. You will get your money. Now please leave me alone.

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