Originally Posted by Luvnmykidz:
This may be far out there, but she reminds me a little of my dd before she was diagnosed. Several things were causing her meltdowns and behavior issues. She slept fairly well but after a sleep study we learned she wasnt sleeping deep enough which is why she woke in the middle of the night and seemed to be annoyed so easily. Melatonin and later clonidine helped her sleep better and also calmed her enough in the daytime that ABA therapy and OT was beneficial. Also we learned that their were sensory issues. Certain types of clothes that she wore (denim, anything scratchy or lose fitting) seemed to also be a culprit. Leggings, cotton material helped. We also started her on a sensory diet (not food, just activities to give input) to give her constant sensory input. I am no therapist, but would be happy to share all that it entails if you would like to try it. We used a balance board, bodysox(spandex type body suit to give sensory input), small trampoline, weighted vest for therapy and weighted blanket for relaxing/calming(I wasn't comfortable using it for her to sleep with). We also used a behavior method with behavior bucks. She used them to earn T.V./computer time, special one-on-one time, toys out of our "home store"(a container filled with small squishy fidget toys, play-doh, bubbles,extra sensory box time coupons, and a few other things she liked). During this time she was labeled ADHD and on the spectrum, her pedi and psychologist also felt like she had ODD. I know this is all very stressful for you and for her as well 
. She is really blessed to have a mom like you and I pray things get better. I'm sorry that your families are not as understanding as you hoped they would be, but stay strong and keep pushing for an answer. This is a wonderful place for you to come to for support as well as just to vent.
There is an article I have read about a little boy who had such big tonsils that he had sleep apnea and never went into REM sleep. His mother specifically mentioned that he was a great sleeper, no matter how bad his behavior was. He was diagnosed as autistic, just because of the effects of no REM sleep.
It seems to me that this could very likely be a contender. Especially since you said she sleeps well. To me that would be her body trying to make up for the poor quality of sleep by getting extra time sleeping.