My heart goes out to you, as your daughter sounds much like my daughter did at that age. They initially diagnosed her with ADD, and the meds made her even more wild.

Daycare transition times (such as pick up time) were horrible. She would interfere, say inappropriate things to parents or try to 'put me on the spot' by asking me for something while they were there. She struggled in school and then was finally diagnosed with Asperger's disorder in the third grade. Aspergers can look really different in girls. Sensory overload is usually at the root of her meltdowns or simply not getting what she wants.

Aspergers is no longer called 'Aspergers', but Autism Spectrum Disorder. It looks nothing like 'Autism' as people with Aspergers tend to have amazing intelligence and speech and not as many of the outward characteristics. They do tend to have obsessive interests though, my daughter would become obsessed with a particular topic (ie dinosaurs) and learn and collect everything there is to know about that topic.

Throughout the years, she was also diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and 'mild' Bi-Polar tendencies. They can co-mingle with each other.

I agree it could be the start of conduct disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but she is pretty young for that. I am not saying it is Aspergers, but certainly something to have checked out.

What I ended up doing during pick up times was to have her sit at the table and do a project of some kind, or have a little goodie bag with small reward items and if she sits still and is calm during pick up times, she gets a reward. I don't know if that will work and maybe you have already tried that.

I really feel for you; I used to feel terrible that I had to hide my own child from my daycare parents for fear I would lose families if they saw or heard her behavior. It can be so difficult.

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