Originally Posted by Incognito:
Saturday morning is here and I just wanted to update on the new shoes and outfits I gave the kids today. I had them in a bag and discussed it with DCM before showing the kids in case she didn't want them or would be offended. I took the advise I was given here and tried to be more gentle with her. I sat beside her with the bag and touched her arm to show my sincerity and said "Hon I know u said u need to get the kids some shoes and I thought maybe I could help. If u don't mind my helping u that is?" She peers over into the bag and says "Yeah I can use all the help I can get, what did u get?" I opened the bag and showed her. I said "there are 2 new outfits and 2 new pairs of shoes. I hope the kids will like them and I hope u don't mind me buying them, I just want to help the kids and I know u try..." She interrupted me with "**** u can buy them all u want that's less that I have to buy!" ( I'm sitting there speechless not knowing what to say now.) She starts digging through the bag and looking them over and says "cool"
She calls the kids over from across the room and says "look what u guys got! NEW STUFF!!" The DCG is jumping up and down and immediately take off her shoes and tries them on. DCB can't get his on but he takes them to the sofa and sits them beside him and plays with the laces. DCG is running around watching her feet and laughing. They didn't try on the clothes but she loved her princess outfit and he loved Elmo! I told DCM "I am glad they like them and I am sorry if I offended u earlier this week" She said "When did u offend me" I said "when we were discussing the shoes and then I text u asking sizes I apologise" She said "I wasn't offended I just didn't feel like going and looking for their shoes right then and just wanted u to go get your cousins and have them here so I could see for myself if they fit the kids" I told her I was glad I didn't offend her and that if I can help in anyway I would be happy to help with the kids. She said "I can use all the extra I can get so anytime u want to buy the kids stuff go ahead. I will never turn down free stuff". So being that I have her full permission now I will be doing all I can for the kids. Clothing is cheap when u catch sales. Right now at Walmart the toddler/preschooler clothing is $4.88 per piece. Not bad at all, under $10 for a whole outfit!
I'm glad it went over smoothly. As DCM walked out the door she yelled back "If u want to go buy some new shoes for me I am a size 8!" and laughs closing the door. I know she was joking (hope anyway because that isn't happening lol) I feel a little odd about the way she accepted the stuff but I am not saying anything else here. I just wanted to update. Oh and I didn't keep the shoes and outfits here because the kids are old enough to tell DCM that I am changing them here so I just wanted to avoid a whole other issue with that. With DCG being so happy and dancing around watching her feet I know she won't want to take them off anyway and I just can't break her heart by making her leave them here. She shoould be able to be happy and comfortable at home too so I am letting her take them home today. If they get ruined quickly for some reason I will replace them then explain why they must be kept at daycare at that point. I am just thankful I got over this hurdle. Thanks for the advise everyone!
It was very sweet of you to buy things for the kids. It shows how kind and thoughtful you are.
The Moms reaction is just telling you that she wants free and when she gets free she is happy. She's never going to be upset when she gets special and that special is free.
Just be prepared for the stuff that you bought them to either never come on them to child care or when they do come they will most likely get trashed pretty quickly. If you give the entitled free they want to use it on their own clock or they don't take care of it. You know this about her because she is getting so much for free and keeping it for herself and not spending the free she gets BECAUSE of the kids on the kids.
Just be prepared for either scenario.
If they don't have other shoes you will most likely see them on them. Just gear up for them to be worn out quickly or lost. I just don't want you to be upset if you end up in a few weeks with kids with ratty stinky shoes on and clothes that don't fit and are worn. There's just a really good chance that what you end up with on your end is what you had before you bought them the stuff.