I think it's great that you want to be proactive. The cheek scratching incident sounds pretty serious. It seems like your son is really struggling in his environment. At his age hopefully he can have some understanding of you have an open dialogue with him about his feelings and expected behaviour. I suggest keeping the topic open, discuss it often and validate the feelings he is having too. I agree the teacher should have been keeping a closer eye, he likely built up to that point and didn't jut start off o angry.

My own 4yo was having a very difficult time recently in my home daycare. What has helped is really making sure we have some one on one time, complimenting him when he has good/kind behaviour and talking about his feelings and what's going on in his world. I think a small reward for good behaviour will help and possibly a count down calendar until he gets to go to th big kids room.

For what it's worth, I don't view a "good daycare parent" as one who gets their kid to stop any negative behaviours immediately. A good daycare parent listen to the concern, doesn't place blame elsewhere and try's to proactively improve the behaviour. Those are all things your doing. It's taken a lot of effort by my son is improving and I'm sure yours can too.

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