Originally Posted by Crystal:
Oh hell no! I would have stopped her dead in her tracks and corrected her on the way she was speaking to you, corrected her on the fact of who's responsibility it is to calm her distraught child and also would have informed her that YELLING at her child certainly is not going to accomplish calming her down. I would then let her know that if she EVER spoke to me in that manner again that she would be needing to make other arrangements for child care. 
100% agree with this.
Of course I've had this happen to me before and now have clear policies in my handbook (with the help of the ladies here on this forum" about situations like this AKA ..
"From the Provider - "One of the most important elements in home childcare is
mutual respect between the parent and the provider... "
"Arrival & Departure Policy - ... The daycare is responsible for the children from the moment that the client leaves the daycare and only until the client arrives to pick the child up.
During the time that the client is present responsibility over that child is turned away from the childcare provider. The less confusion about who is charge, the more comfortable everyone will be. Keep in mind that children tend to act out when an adult is here so please
make sure that you are firm and in control."
And my favorite ...
"Termination Policy - .... The childcare provider however has the right to terminate the contract at any time without notice if the client should breach the contract by failing to follow any of the policies in the contract and policy handbook. These circumstances include ...
* Disruptive,
disrespectful or hurtful behavior by a child or
client that persists.
*
Deliberate disrespect or damage
to the childcare provider, other daycare families, the home, family, furnishings or other belongings
by a child,
client or other person which picks the child up."
I don't care whether I am doing "my job" or not ... this is MY home, MY business and MY domain. No one should disrespect anyone like these clients have you OP and I for one would not have apologized for any reason because you did nothing wrong. Once you apologize it's like you just took on the burden of guilt and are accepting blame.
I am not quick to terminate however I would have asked them BOTH for a sit-down to discuss these issues and to make it clear that no matter what they feel I am doing wrong yelling, hostility and slamming my door will not be tolerated. I would even have a termination notice at the ready and wouldn't hesitate to give it to them if they a) refused to sit down and talk about it, b) became hostile during the meeting or b) it was apparent that they "didn't get it" and that things would probably continue in this way.