Originally Posted by Janet:
I can see everyone's point here. Some people have great luck with redirection and positive reinforcement. I love doing that instead of resorting to TO's or taking away priviledges...But I will do what I need to do to have my day run the way that I want it to. Here are some things that I do:
* I won't yell and scream, but I will use my firm voice if I need to. There is no yelling allowed inside my house. Inside voices only. This helps with only needing to say something once. I won't ask a child to do something or not to do something more than once. After that, we have problems.
* If the toys are being used in an abusive way, then I will put every single toy into another room and then there are no toys to play with. Same rules apply if the kids don't pick up their toys when they are done playing. I'll ask once and only once, and if they don't pick up the toys, I put the toys into another room for the day.
* I don't make threats. If I say "dcb, if you keep hitting and taking toys away, then you won't be allowed to play in the sprinkler today (or whatever else may be going on) I had one kid who kept screwing around and it was a party day. Christmas party, I think. I gave him fair warning, but he kept going so I had him sit at the table and just watch the other kids eat cupcakes and watch the Charlie Brown christmas special. He had string cheese, club crackers and juice instead of a cupcake. My kids know that I'll do what I say I'll do. They fought over doll strollers so I donated them all to Holland Rescue Mission and they watched the strollers get taken away. That was the last fight over toys.
* I keep my schedule consistent on a daily basis and that helps them to know what is expected of them.
* I spend a lot of time with them outdoors and that helps alot. I think kids fight less outside.
* Don't be afraid to terminate a kid if they are making things difficult for everyone else. It can make all the differnece in the world. Once my trouble maker was gone, the atmosphere of my daycare changed and it has been awesome!
* Remember that you are in charge. When kids think that they can push you around, believe me, they will. It's great to be diplomatic with children when you can, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down and let them know that this is not a democracy. Don't be afraid of letting the parents know that their child is having problems following rules. Be prepared for the parents to be offended, but what else can you do?
* I don't expect perfection from my daycare kids, but I do expect them to follow my rules. Every kid will mess up now and again, and when they do make sure that you do address it. Also, when a kid leaves for the day (after a rough day) I make sure to tell them this "I love you when you have good days, I love you when you have rough days. That won't change. Ms. Janet always loves you. Don't worry, today was rough, but tommorrow's a new day and you can make different choices." I reassure them that no matter what, they are loved. It really does help even though it can take a long time with some kids.
Those are just my suggestions. By design, I have a very peaceful home that is very calm when we are indoors and we are very playful and we are totally energetic when we are outside. It works for me, it just took a while to figure out a game plan. Good luck!
Thank you! Everyone has a lot of great advice. I realized that we've been repeating ourselves too many times when the children don't listen. Today I started telling them one time to do something, if they didn't listen they were in trouble. What would you do, for example, if a child takes their shoes off outside, you tell them to put them back on, and they continue walking as if you never said a word? I can't make them go inside, because I can't see anyone who is inside while I'm outside. Time-outs work for some, but others are stubborn and refuse to. It turns into a cat and mouse chase, which is plain stupid for an adult to be chasing a child around the playground (which is why I quit that after the first time!). They won't sit when I tell them to, either, though. What would you do in that case?
I agree with you, the outdoors does wonders for a child's behavior! I'm so glad preschool is over for the summer and we can now spend a lot of time outside!
Our schedule is also consistant (and flexible when it needs to be), but we always do the same things in the same order. Even the two yr olds, after they finish lunch, know that they go to the room they nap in, without being told. Actually getting everyone to lay down on their cots and quit playing around and stealing someone else's blankets, grabbing a pillow and wacking someone else with it, etc is another story...
We only allow inside voices also, but what would you do if a 4 or 5 yr old starts yelling for no reason? We have a 2 yr old who does that all the time, but I think he may be autistic. However, I have no understanding for the older ones who I KNOW know better. Usually these two 5 yr olds start yelling and making the most noise at meals and snack. But sometimes it's just randomly throughout the day, even if they seem occupied in what they're playing!
So my main questions were: (1) what would you do if, like in the example I gave, the child ignores you when you tell them to put their shoes back on while everyone's outside? (2) A 5 yr old starts yelling for no reason except to make noise, although they very well know the inside voice rule. (and you try to remove them from the other children, but they won't go to the other room) (3) It's nap time and the child is going around taking the other children's stuff from them, wacking them with it, and refusing to lay down.
I chose those examples because they're the biggest situations when I don't know what the consequence should be.