Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have come to the conclusion that there will always be "one of these" types of parents enrolled. I've termed families before because of similar situations and I've found that another parent quickly fills the void.
I recently termed a DCM for very similar reasons that you posted about and now another long time family is the thorn in my side. 
For me a better option has been learning not to own their crap. Every time a DCM asks dumb questions or "TELLS" me what to do, I reply in such a way to basically convey..."not my problem".
For example a DCM recently told me she was dropping off at a later time, picking up in the middle of lunch and bringing child back at the later end of rest time on a later day this week. (All against my policies). I simply told her "Sorry, that wont work for me. My policies don't allow multiple drop offs and disrupting the daily schedule isn't something I am willing to allow"
She tried to argue and say it was "just this one time" and her child is quiet ( 
) and I just said, "I'm sorry but it won't work for me. You'll have to figure something else out." Then I just stopped the conversation and said, have a great day! and walked off to do something else.
It's so much less stress if you just don't own their issues.
State yours and leave the ball in their court.
I think it's often hard for providers to do this because we are so used to fixing or smoothing things over for the DCK's that it bleeds into other parts of our lives and we feel the need to always settle thing out but in reality, so much of what we stress about isn't really our issue.
Some people are just bossy and the way they tell others what to do is just who they are but that doesn't mean you HAVE to comply or even entertain the attitude. Just state your rules and stop engaging. She will eventually understand that you aren't open to being instructed on her life or whatever she has going on.
In other words, let her do her and you do you and stop feeling guilty or bad about it. 
If you really don't want to enroll the family next fall, just don't send a re-enrollment packet to them and if ANYONE asks, just say you can't discuss other families and if the DCM herself asks, just be really vague and say it's a business decision and you aren't at liberty to discuss it any further. Asking is annoying but it doesn't mean anyone deserves a reason in response when frankly it really isn't anyone's business who you re-enroll or don't. 
That actually makes so much sense! It's like having a used car that has issues but you'd rather keep it because you know it's issues instead of buying another used car and have no idea what you're in for
Any time I tell her something wont work, she says "understood" so luckily there isn't any back and fourth with her.
She messaged me the other day saying that they wouldn't make pickup time (for a totally legitimate reason), so they were sending dad. But because the app to sign out is on mom's phone, he would "Just have to do the code" I no longer have this as an option... they know that. Dad showed up and tried to find the code option (there isn't one) and I told him he needed to download it on his phone right there and sign her out the right way. He did it with little complaining
Also, I've only had to tell one family that I "don't discuss other families" ... guess which one?