Originally Posted by glenechogirl:
Sorry, that came out harsher than I meant it to. I didn't mean all parents, but it is true that some people don't love their kids as much as others do, but I more meant to say the degree that parents ENJOY time with their kids. I am thinking specifically of many interviews I've done where the parents say I love my kids but I could NOT spend the whole day with them. Their kids would drive them nuts to be with all day, but I enjoy 99% of my time with my ds and I'm with him all day every day, he's never had a babysitter ever.
My own dh admittedly doesn't ENJOY our ds as much as I do. My dh has told me that he finds him kind of boring, he can't multitask, and it's not his natural tendency. (which believe me, hurts my feelings and has made some conflict!).
SOME parents (and I'm thinking of specific examples) do prioritize their lifestyle over their kids because they enjoy the lifestyle more. One exmaple, a family that lives on the river in a big house, drives a BMW, and work ALOT. I know they love their kid, but I think they also love their lifestyle and have chosen not to give it up in favor of staying home with baby. That's their choice and they're entitled to it, but I don't think you can make those choices and still say your child is your number one priority. Our prioritites is where we spend our time, resources (emotional, financial, etc.) Another example, a family that has nice cars and just moved into a brand new big house in a nice area and went on an 8 day vacation leaving the baby at home with relatives. They say how hard it is to leave the baby, and another baby on the way too, but yet they don't make the choices to live on less so that mom could be home with them more. Her actions don't match her words.
But it's true and I apologize, my statement was too broad and blunt. My husband and I live on one extremely modest car only, share an extremely modest house with my mother, and I still can't afford to ONLY be a SAHM, so I turned my life upside down to start my business so that I could make the money we need but still be with my ds. It would hurt my feelings if someone said I dont' love my ds as much as them because I don't ONLY stay home with him and can't devote ALL my attention to him.
But I THINK we can all agree that there are SOME people who don't love their kids as much as their jobs/lifestyle, and SOME people maybe even many people who don't enjoy their kids as much as someone who chooses to be with their kids 24/7.
Thanks for clarifying. I agree that the first statement was too broad and too blunt, like you said and I also agree that there are parents that do not prioritize things in such a way as to provide the time and commitment that a child needs. I think we all know parents like that.