Originally Posted by ccare_erin:
I need to write a letter for this family. I want to keep this nice and professional yet get my point across.
Long story short, this particular dcm has made reference a couple times that her husband feels they are my employer. I have let it roll off because I love their daughter and have had her for two years. And really, if they want to think that way so be it.
However, last night dcd picked up (an extremely rare occurence) and was late. Therefore I was running late to my appointment. I sent a text to dcm asking where dcd was and then also called dcd.
He showed up ten minutes late.
This morning dcm told me that dcd would never say it to me but he tells her that he is my employer and as his employee I have no right to 'bitch' about him being a few minutes late. (he works from home two miles away) And that if he is going to be late I need to deal with it because he is my boss and I have no right to tell him when he has to be here.
This I could have lived with. He is entitled to his opinion.
But then she told me he would be picking up more often because she has horse riding lessons and if he is late then I need to pack up her daughter and take her with me and my family and she would come pick her up when she could.
So basically, the plan is that he will be coming more often and will be late.
I don't like this smarmy little gross man and he gives me the heebie jeebies. The fact that he thinks he has power over me is even more disturbing. As is the fact she think i will take her daughter with me.
They leave for a 2 week cruise tomorrow so I need to set them straight today. They pay for 1 month in advance and I don't want the check until they understand the way things are going to be should they stay.
So here I am. I need to compose a letter that is professional but I wanted to look for advice before I start. Has anyone had to deal with a parent like this before?
TIA
Erin
I never termed in 20 years but I might have to for that kind of attitude. If however, you feel you can't and need the money or whatever, I'd have a talk, in person, with dad. I just would want him to know that I'm not afraid to face him. Yes, I would be very nervous but I'd have to do it. You can practice what you are going to say or write it out. I suppose this could be a letter too really but I think in person is more effective.
It would go something like this:
Hi Dad, I need to talk to you and this is serious. Your wife mentioned that you will be picking up late in the future. I make appointments or have activities after work as it is the only time I can go. I close in time to make these on time. I absolutely will not take your daughter with me if you are late. First, it is a liability for me concerning car insurance in case something would happen and second I don't want to do it. My time is my time the same as your time after your work is your time. So I wanted to be clear with you that I won't do it.
Second, I want you to understand something. I've heard that you consider me your employee. Let me assure you that I am not. I am operating a business that has rules like any other business. No different than a day care center. You can have any opinion about that that you'd like but it doesn't change the fact that I am not your employee. If you want care for your child from an employee you should check into getting a nanny to come to your home. She would be an employee.
The following will be what will happen should you be late in the future. (Here state your policy).
If he gets snotty, I'd probably just term. I wouldn't back down. I also might make a new late fee policy if it looks like he is just going to come late anyway. First time=very hefty fee, Second time=double the first time, Third time=terminate. I'd explain it and have them both sign it.
You don't have to put up with this. Good luck!
Laurel