I will be honest...because you asked.

It does seem like in your post you are excusing your kids behavior to a certain point. I think the majority of us understand how challenging parenting can be and then add home daycare on top of it and things get even more complicated. But you have to find a way to address this behavior if your daycare is going to work long term. The issue is probably worse when daycare kids are there but like you said, its a problem even outside daycare hours...with both boys, correct? If you need your daycare to work long term, you are going to have to really get some consistency and consequences to break these habits with your kids. There is no magic solution.

I know my second child was quite physical. Its her nature to be high energy and in others' personal space. But in order for my daycare to work, we had to get her under control fast. She would hit, push, bite and all those sorts of things that were worse during daycare hours. I shadowed her like crazy, separated her, watched for her triggers and intervened BEFORE she escalated, worked on her diet, worked on getting her healthy outlets for her energy...long walks, outdoor play, etc. She is still my most challenging kid but this is what has worked for us to curb her behaviors and keep things running smoothly with the daycare.

It also helps to tailor your daycare to your own childrens needs! My kids NEED outdoor time. Its not negotiable. I have had parents interview that are not happy to hear that we talk daily walks or that the kids spend a lot of time outdoors. If that is the case, they arent the right fit for us. I am not keeping my kids indoors to suit daycare families. We keep interviewing till active, outdoor kids join our group. Perhaps this 4 year old girl just isnt the right fit for you set up anyway, even if the physical issues were addressed. Just something to keep in mind.

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